It's true - I'm not good with people. I get frustrated very quickly. Well, that's not the whole pciture. I get frustrated with people who don't try to understand why I would be frustrated.
I've worked at a couple of fast food jobs. When I was living in Johnstown, I worked at a Little Caesar's. Here at home, I works at an Arby's for a while. At both places, I learned to use the register. I would take customer orders, relay them to the workers preparing the food, take money and give change. Part of this job is obviously interaction with a person - the person paying - and that simply wasn't for me.
I never really thought that I was bad at it. I actually consider myself a pretty good conversationalist with people that I regularly speak with. I guess I'm just not used to dealing with all sorts of people with different methods of making menu choices. The manager at the Little Caesar's made sure that I didn't often work at the register. It's not like I was scaring away the customers, it's just that I like efficiency when ordering. I know what I want before I waste the cashier's time at the counter, and I have my money ready and in enough quantity that I'm not searching for loose change while people behind me are waiting. I just think that these things are common courtesy. They're things that you do so that everything goes smoothly with placing your order and getting out of the way for the next people in line. But apparently, my thinking is in the minority. The same thing goes for computers, really.
Providing services for people with computers is very burdensome for me. Unless you know exactly what you want and are able to explain to me why you want it, I'm going to be frustrated.
When taking requests for development work, this is particularly important. I like to write out exactly what I'm going to do, and then present it to whomever is asking for the work. A back and forth process shoul begin over exactly what needs to be done, until a finalized requirements list is complete. From there, I can begin work knowing the full scope of the job without getting frustrated. It's how I prefer to work, and so far it's been working great. Apart from this very formal procedure, I think I am personable in email. Sometimes I think I come off as a bit formal after the exchange of requirements, but I'm really not like that after I know what needs to be done.
I've been working on a project for work-work that has been taking forever. This is not a project with a written set of requirements. The people who are involved not only do not know what they want, but they don't know what they can have. Every day it seems like there's another change that could have been forseen months ago. Well, work is work, and I shouldn't complain.
Also, I think that I'm noticing some of the same kind of frustration in them that I have in myself for not understanding. I think there is something there that I encounter sometimes with people who don't know computers very well. I just get the impression that they think I think I'm better than them because I know things about computers. I don't think that at all. What has been frustrating is that I have been programming computers for 26 years, and I seem to need to justify many small decisions. And so then I try to explain why I suggest some choices, and it comes out as if I'm preaching from on high... It's not fun for me, either.
Just trust me.
I mean, suppose you were really good at something. And a someone in your family introduces a distant cousin who has just started doing that thing for work or a hobby. But the introduction didn't include your C.V., and your close family member didn't say anything like, "He's been doing this for years, so listen to what he has to say." And moreover, the cousin thinks he knows things because he's been forced to learn it, but he's one of those people who has enough knowledge to really screw things up. And maybe that's not even it - Maybe some people have an ingrown disposition not to trust that anyone is an expert at anything until they've proved it directly.
I have some friends who have even moved beyond the stage where they ask for computer help, because they know that I'll be too frustrated with their lack of knowledge to deal with them properly. Sometimes it's even more frustrating when they go elsewhere for help, and the person they consult has no business offering advice, and then things really go screwy. I'd rather that they asked me. I'll try not to get frustrated. I think that some of them know more than they would admit to.
Perhaps if I were better with people this wouldn't be a problem. If I could get people to trust what I do inherently. That would be nice.
"I wish there were more people who can deliver no matter what the odds are. But most of the time, I end up with half-assed results after I put so much trust on them thinking that they are professionals and are great at what they do." This is what most people think.
When people at the other end of the service table can't seem to make up their mind, it's not because they don't know what they want. Most of the time, they are not sure if they can actually get the value what they are paying for. It's a matter of trust.
What they are actually waiting for is for the service person to take charge and give them assurance that their interests are of utmost importance. Service with a smile doesn't always work. These days, people expect credibility behind the smile and the sweet talk.
When clients or even your managers don't seem to get you, that means they don't trust that you can do the job. It's not that you're incompetent. You can be the best at what you do and still not appear that you are. It all boils down to image.
Market yourself properly by exuding self-confidence, but not too cocky. Be convincing, but don't come on too strong. It's a mind game. Just enjoy it and don't lose your composure. Have fun!
Poor Owen is so upset :( and/or smashed ;-)
Hang in there, you are making progress and you'll get that job done - then you can be rid of them.
I earn a paycheck designing ads for people. It's an interesting job, but like your manager at Little Ceasar, my employer doesn't like me dealing directly with the customers directly.
I am not a diplomat, and irritation tends to color my tones (or so I've been told) when I'm trying to explain no-brainer design basics to people that should - in my opinion - know better. ("If you make everything Futura Bold All Caps 24 point type, then nothing stands out as being important, which is the reverse of the effect you're trying to achieve...")
On the other hand, I get along quite well with those that (1) know what they want, and (2) are willing to trust me to do it.
I think the frustration you're expressing applies to every field; I further think everyone experiences it at some point. The difference is that some people are better able to hide that frustration.
The older I get, the less able to hide it I am.