I don't know if I had mentioned this before. I say it frequently enough, so you might have heard me talking about it. The bottom line is this: I'm evil.
I used to think I was marginally "good", but you know what? It's hard work and doesn't really pay off. So I've just given up on the idea altogether. What does this mean for you?
Well, evil isn't always as rotten as it might seem. I mean, evil inspires self-interest. So for example, if I was walking behind you and you passed out - for lack of any good premise - I might still provide assistance, but not for your sake. Instead, any aid would be motivated by wanting to remain innocent of charges that I caused the incident.
I bring all of this up because I was being evil to the kids tonight at dinner.I took Abby to the grocery store after her Girl Scout meeting to pick up a quick dinner. Included with the fried chicken, salad, and mashed potatoes, I picked up a small assortment of cheesecake wedges. They looked pretty tasty. And while Berta and I like cheesecake, I was pretty sure at that point that the kids would not, at least, they would be surprised by the flavor and texture after hearing the word "cake". Still, Abby seemed convinced by the look of the thing that it would be tasty.
So at dinner, the kids were doing their typical refrain of "I'm done dinner and I want cake" after two bites of fried chicken breading. I told them repeatedly that they would receive no cake unless they ate more dinner. Enticed with just the word "cake" at first, they ate more. Then enticed more with the presentation of the cake at the table, they ate more. Then enticed finally more with the slicing of wedges onto Berta's and my plate, they ate even more.
I don't want to give the impression that I stuffed the kids or forced them to eat more than they would or should have. But I know how they behave when they don't like the food they're given, or think they're getting a treat and would rather eat that instead. Using this knowledge, I put it to good evil use and got them to eat their dinner.
And after they gave up on a bite of cheesecake, Berta and I finished theirs, too.
This is but one small recent anecdote relating to my conversion to the dark side, where I'm likely to generate many more interesting stories to share.
Ooooooh.... so EVIL!
That's not evil, that's parenting!!
Daily behavior around here, too!
Sounds like you're manipulating your children's own evilness to get them to do what you want them to do. AKA, as valerie said, parenting. :)
Yeah, but I could have gotten actual cake, something that the kids really would have enjoyed. Instead, I got cheesecake, knowing they wouldn't eat it.
Don't mistake side-effects of actual evil for parenting.
Hurray for evil.
For those of you having trouble grasping this you might need some angel "B" gone.
You do need to ramp it up a bit. We've convinced our kids that once I went on a 3 hour tour out in the bay. Only to get caught in a storm and stranded on a dessert island with a millionaire and his wife, the skipper, a professor, etc...
We told them the story every night at dinner for a week - finally ending with my escape from the island by making a coconut radio.
While we were telling them this they were going into school and telling their teachers and friends the story as well.
Teacher conference was quite funny that year!
Yes, I've convinced my kid that the moon is made of cheese. They've so far been unable to prove me wrong.