Asymptomatic

Principle #2 - Go Ahead and Be Picky

May 24, 2009 12:50am · 6 Comments · , and

Today's entry is next in line of my personal principles, after yesterday's rule, "Give Love Freely".

This principle starts with bananas.

A few years ago, I loathed bananas. Couldn't stand the smell, much less the taste. I don't know why, but that's just the way things fell out. But in discovering that I didn't like bananas, it turns out there were a lot of other foods that I don't like:

Nuts. Strawberries. Soup. Watermelon. Anything flavored with lemon.

Wow. I'm really picky. What the heck, Owen, don't you like anything? Sure, I like stuff. In fact, I just don't like these things as much as I like other things. What I'm saying is that since I'm being given the choice, I'd rather not waste my time with things that I know I don't like, no matter what other people think of them.

This is much different from avoiding new things. In fact, it's almost the opposite, since I usually love trying new things. But if I've done something, there's got to be a really good reason for me to re-try it if I didn't like it in the first place. When given this world full of pleasures, why torture myself with things that other people insist I should like that I know I don't?

Continues here →

Obviously, this whole principle isn't solely about foods. A great example of the extension of this into the software development aspect of my world is Java. I simply hate Java. I've never had a good experience with it. As a result, I just won't touch it any more. Mind you, this isn't an irrational reaction on my part - I've coded in Java and used Java applications plenty. But I've come to a higher-level conclusion that Java is to be avoided, so I do, and I don't care what anyone else says.

In yesterday's principle, I mentioned that giving love freely even applies to people that you know wouldn't return it. This is where an important interaction between the rules begins. I hope to have no reason to be near the people that wouldn't return my positive energy. If I have to deal with them, then be positive. Otherwise, I remain picky about who I spend my effort on.

There's only so much time in this life, and I'm sure not going to go through it being miserable because I have to eat food I don't like, use tools that ruin my day, and deal with people that make me angry no matter how positive I am with them. Following this rule gives me plenty of opportunity to enjoy things and people I like, which is what it's all about. And in those rare instances where I can't get that -- I keep a positive outlook, give love freely, and hope that my mind is changed.

Speaking of which, I don't dislike bananas so much any more.

This rule is less about creating long lists of things to dislike, and more about having permission to avoid the things you do not like that everyone thinks you should. I think as a result of following this rule, I spend a lot more time enjoying the experiences I have, and seeking out new things to try, which I also enjoy.

This principle feels soft, like it needs work. I think I'm following it pretty well, although I don't know that I've described it very well. Hey, I said in the beginning that they needed refined. Anyway, take it or leave it, there it is. Make it yours.

Nonetheless, tomorrow's principle is not to be missed. It's my favorite principle of them all, and if you take one principle away from this whole list, tomorrow's will be the one that never fails and applies to almost anything I can think of. Don't miss it.

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Comments

  1. I've got something of a similar list of foods I don't prefer to eat, and some of the items on it befuddle many people ("You don't like popcorn?!") such that over the years I've become seemingly more defensive about it, and decided to explain it away as a textural thing. After all, how else could I explain not liking peanuts but liking (creamy) peanut butter? So I give an explanation about not liking biting into certain things, and the more times I tell that sordid tale fewer people seem to ask about it. I suppose I should just feel free to not like them, and not feel a need to justify myself.

  2. Rick Cockrum
    May 24, 2009 01:27am

    I've codified similar rules for myself. My equivalent to 'Go ahead and be picky' is 'Pursue the positive.' This could be closer to your first principle, but if so, this second principle is a necessary corollary. There is no reason for such masochism, and life has too much good to force yourself into situations you don't like and know you don't like.

  3. Andy Ciordia
    May 25, 2009 12:28pm

    It's good to know your likes and dislikes. One thing to remember is to re-challenge yourself periodically in life. Our tastebuds shift over time due to different hormonal and growth cycles. Some things you dislike you may in turn begin to like in another 10years.

    A few years ago I went back and wanted to learn the why.. Why don't I like this, why does that make my tongue curl, etc etc. It was interesting to find many processed sugars to be my ill, and with a friend he was very sensitive to alkaline and thus could not stand a tomato. We are amazing and interesting creatures. Self study for the win.

  4. I have the opposite problem. I like everything, I can't think of one thing right now that I dislike...

    oh, sweet licorice - that I "like less", I don't mind it, but there's stuff that I'd rather eat.

  5. The challenge of applying this rule to non-food items -- specifically, people -- is that it's all too easy to be seen as standoffish, or rude, or self-centered, or any number of other pejorative terms. I agree wholeheartedly that we should choose to spend our time and energy on and with people and things we find pleasant, valuable, worthwhile, etc. But it takes some modicum of composure and grace to avoid the things we don't like without being seen as jerks about it.

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