In the recent 941/942 double-issue of Entertainment Weekly, they've listed 32 things (page 110) that they hate about Entertainment these days. They've not gone far enough. I've revised their list to make more sense. Observe:

1. EW: "Paris Hilton on CNN"
Me: "Paris Hilton"

You may be able to tell how this is going to go...

2. EW: "The overuse of that damn KT Tunstall song 'Suddenly I see'"
Me: The overuse of any song that might otherwise be a catchy pop tune that one could easily put into their MP3 rotation. Additionally, the changing of words to "good" (read: recognizable) songs to be used as advertising jingles. Also, the word "damn" as an adjective. (Editor dude, it's a verb.)

3. EW: "TV shows that end at 10:02pm. Our DVRs don't know to wait up."
Me: TV networks that haven't figured out how to cater to DVR users. Tivo for patenting the process and TV Networks for scaring other DVR makers into not providing the handy time-shifting features that would record those extra two minutes. (Hey, mine does it. EW, does your equipment suck?)

Oh yes, there are 32 of these...

4. EW: "That on The Bachelor every single rose ceremony that comes down the pike seems to be dubbed 'the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.'"
Me: Isn't this item cliche? My friends and I have been using "...and on a very special X" as an expression since the 80s. Being topical is more than just throwing out buzzwords, it's also about nixing the old cliches.

5. EW: "Peter Parker's emo haircut."
Me: If you want to smack up a comic book movie, let's do it right: Comic book movies that suck because the director and actors never read the disgustingly impressive volume of work that predated their little wrecking-ball project. Not to say that Spider-Man is one of these, but, hey... It is!

6. EW: "Threequels"
Me: Movies that were either not original enough in their own right to depart well from their origin, or not close enough to the source material to do it justice.

7. EW: "The word threequels."
Me: Magazines that make up or publicize made up words and then decry them. I never even heard this word before this EW. It's a freakin' trilogy.

8. EW: "Movies shot in Toronto that aren't set in Toronto"
Me: Movies shot in space that have outside sound or otherwise defy the laws of physics.

9. EW: "Hollywood's indiscriminate use of the words artist and genius."
Me: Hard to argue against, but worth noting that "Hollywood commentary" isn't doing much better. See #7.

10. EW: "People who relish Katie Couric's ratings struggle."
Me: People who care so much about ratings over the actual art of storytelling or quality of the entertainment. (No, this doesn't have anything to do with Couric, it has to do with ratings.)

11. EW: "Upsizing" sales tactics at the concession stand."
Me: I'll one-up that: The giant size "small" with the quarter's difference to upsize. Where has the freaking "small" gone?

12. EW: "Overdone reality show orchestration."
Me: Reality shows. I hate to complain about them, but it seems that their all that's on. We braindead Americans must love our braindead TV, I guess.

13. EW: "When someone is 'playing' a musical instrument on screen and it's obvious not only that they are not playing the instrument but that they haven't even been taught how to fake playing the instrument."
Me: When someone is "acting" in a role, and it's obvious not only that they are not "acting" but that they haven't even been taught how to fake acting. See also: Keanu Reeves.

14. EW: "Teenage stars who talk about how they've been waiting their entire lives for a moment like this."
Me: You know what? Maybe they have. What makes their age any less pertinent than a 30-something saying it? Does youth necessarily imply that they've been at it for less time? No.

15. EW: "Ringtones."
Me: Crappy phone technology, held back by fly-eating cell phone producers. But that belongs on a completely different list. (Fly -eating: So miserly that when the waiter brings the soup, instead of complaining that it has a fly in it, they eat the fly, too.)

16. EW: "Stars who insist they hate the paparazzi while courting them by showing up at place like the Ivy."
Me: Magazines who believe that they little "I hate paparazzi" act is anything but.

17. EW: "The line 'dancing for their lives' on So You Think You Can Dance."
Me: Assuming I watch every crappy show you review to have ever heard that line.

18. EW: "New release DVDs that have zero extras."
Me: New release DVDs that are dissed because of their lack of extras. Seriously, I've never bought one disc pack because of some "extra feature" it had over another pack that lacked that feature. My discriminators are first the transfer quality of the original movie, and second, the price. Anything after that is gravy.

19. EW: "When TV shows are based in cold places, yet no one is sufficiently bundled up."
Me: When unrealistic "ACCESS DENIED" messages are displayed on computer screens instead of using the same OSX/Windows/Linux GUI systems that everyone is familiar with. Geez, you'd think that sponsorship would be used here.

20. EW: "Music videos where the singer romps around in white sheets on a bed, looking all moony and in love."
Me: Music videos. Didn't MP3 kill the video star? It should have already. Maybe EW just hasn't noticed that music videos have become fairly irrelevant.

21. EW: "The fact that Kate Winslet does not have an Ocsar."
Me: Uh, for what? Instead, let's lament the lousy Oscar categories, the fact that they're judged by peers (who seem to mainly rely on influences outside of actually watching the film), and that they suck up multiple hours of TV time better spent on, well, anything.

22. EW: "The word 'pitchy'."
Me: Uh, ok.

23. EW: "Athletes who rap."
Me: Rap backbeats and the claptrap they speak on top of it. Let's face it, rap isn't going away. Some of it is good. Some of it sounds good. And most of it is just meaningless words on top of a slicked-up baseline. Want to know what's cool about the Beastie Boys' music? It's got guitars. Want to know what's cool about Beck? He's a musician. Pull any kid off the street and give him a mic and play some bass track behind him (and promote the crap out of him) and he'll be played out of the trunk of every hoopdie. But please - "talent" is the word. And since I've listed two white groups, I'll note that Snoop Dog is also talented. That guy can get the job done, son. The corollary is, of course, that just because you're a musician, that doesn't mean you should rap. (See also: Gwen Stefani)

24. EW: "Foreign characters speaking to each other in accented English instead of subtitles."
Me: Stepping it up: Movie studios that think that people won't go see their movies if there are subtitles. See also: Pan's Labyrinth

25: EW: "The 2007 MTV Movie Award for the Best Summer Movie We Haven't Seen Yet."
Me: MTV. MTV belonged to my generation. Now it should go peacefully.

26. EW: "Waiting around for Guns N' Roses to release Chinese Democracy."
Me: Waiting for Chinese Democracy. Get some perspective, EW.

27. EW: "Promo spots in which TV cast members walk toward the camera, or spin around, and get wind blown through their hair."
Me: Promo spots for "next week's episode" at the end of the night's episode that never materialize.

28. EW: "People outrunning fireballs."
Me: Every actor and actress looking like they fell out of Cosmo or GQ.

29. EW: "Actors sitting in the audience at awards shows, trying to joke with the host. We can't hear you&emdash;and neither can the host."
Me: Award shows. See also: #21

30. EW: "Reality shows about mundane professions: The Ace of Cakes!"
Me: Reality shows. I'm experiencing deja vu here. If we have so little good to say about them, why are they on?

31. EW: "Movie trailers in which an explosion cuts of profanity."
Me: Movie trailers that show you the most funny parts and give away the juicy bits.

32. EW: "TV shows without the commercial interruptions."
Me: WHAT??

Mom got Berta and me tickets to see Pippin at the Forrest Theater over the weekend, which we did. The production was excellent.

The story is about a guy, Pippin, who is the son of Charlemagne, and his struggle to discover his purpose in life. Throughout the show, he finds new things that he feels he is destined to be, but it turns out that none of them are.

This particular show was selected by my mom because it ws produced by the same people who made Wicked, which we also enjoyed. But as it turns out, this is the second show (the first being Chicago) that my mom has sent us to that the actors were wearing little more than a thread here or there. This one, unlike Chicago, had actual "sex" scenes, too. There was even one where Pippin is raised and lowered on top of a number of different lovers, or various genders. Not that I'm prudish, but is this the kind of thing you think your mom would be likely to promote?

(Still, Mom, I appreciate that you're so progressive. ;) )

Anyway, the show was a bit offbeat, funny, and had a good sampling of musical styles compared to what musicals typically offer, though no single song stood out particularly like in Wicked.

One thing that the show did frequently is break out of scene. The characters would frequently talk to the audience and call them "audience". This is partly because the idea was that the show was a show, the players (one of the major characters in the story is named "Leading Player") putting on a performance of a story. So it was a kind of act within an act. Sometimes it was funny, like during the scene changes. Sometimes it seemed a little forced, like the entire second half of the play, whenever the Leading Player was correcting Catherine's lines. Sometimes it was a bit disturbing.

There was a very short part of the musical, after Pippin decides what he's going to do with his life, where the Leading Player (who Berta and I are both convinced is supposed to be the devil) is talking to the audience. See, the whole show, the Leading Player is trying to convince Pippin to perform in the Grande Finale, which conists of Pippin setting himself on fire - giving up on the quest for purpose and ending it all. When Pippin finally eschews that notion, the Leading Player and his cast look to the audience for another volunteer to participate. The cast whispers calls to the audience to come on stage and join them. For about 30 seconds, that was about the creepiest thing I've ever seen on stage.

What I did not like about the musical - the resolution. Pippin makes a big deal in the beginning about how everything has a purpose and that he should have a purpose, too. That he has some destiny. Though the whole musical, he looks for this destiny. Near the end, he is in utter despair from his search when he finds the widow Catherine and her son, who rouse him from his despair and give him something to do. After a year with her, sowing fields and caring for her son, he finds himself taking her old husband's place, forgetting about his pursuit of purpose. He gets upset and leaves.

Now at that point, I'm happy. Because it seems to me that if you have to search for meaning, then you have to search for meaning. But then, after a scene where the Leading Player finally tries to convince him to set himself on fire, Pippin decides that a life with Catherine is good enough. Wait. Good enough? What a letdown.

Maybe I missed the point of the story. And maybe I misunderstood his relationship to Catherine, which seemed more to me like she needed him to fill her dead husband's shoes than he needed her to find fulfillment. That being the case in my mind, by choosing that life instead of continuing to search for his true purpose, he might as well have set himself on fire. As the devil/Leading Player says, at least people would wonder what would cause a boy with so much promise to do that.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we apologize for our inability to bring you the finale that we promised. It seems our extraordinary young man has elected to compromise his aspirations. But I know there are many of you out there - extraordinary people, exceptional people -who would gladly trade your ordinary lives for the opportunity to do one perfect act - our grand finale.

Now, if you should decide to do so, we'll be there for you, waiting, anytime you want us. Why we're right inside your heads, and we promise you sets, costumes, lights, magic, and a short - but - spectacular career!

It's been a weird week, and hopefully I'll be able to tell you more about it soon, but for now, I'll just tell you how it was capped off.

On Saturday afternoon, Mom watched the kids while Berta and I went to the musical Wicked, based on the book by Gregory Maguire. And in perfect contrast to the showing of Chicago we saw, Wicked was wicked.

In case you aren't familiar with the idea: Wicked is a story about the Wicked Witch of the West from Oz. You're familiar with the story from the movie, The Wizard of Oz, right? Well, if you haven't read or seen Wicked, then you have no idea what really happened.

Did you know that Glinda the Good was actually the wicked witch's friend? They were roommates in school! And Glinda was (is) kind of a ditz.

The story is amazing. They give reasoning for pretty much everything. You find out the origins of the witches, Alphaba and her sister (squashed by Dorothy's tornado-propelled house) Nissa Rose. You find out how the tin man, scarecrow, and cowardly lion came to be who they were. Yes, the flying monkies - all explained. And shockingly, you come to learn how everything you know about "good" and "evil" in the world of Oz is just... wrong! The story fits seamlessly right on top of the original. It's really an amazing feat of writing.

One of my major complaints about some musicals, Chicago for example, is that the story all happens in narrative between the music. For me, if the music is not telling the story, then why did they make a musical from it? Wicked does not disappoint.

Everything important in Wicked is told via song. And the songs are pretty darn good. I've been listening to the soundtrack today, and it's really good. One of my favorite tunes is called "What Is This Feeling?" and it's great. What is the feeling? Loathing. Unadulterated loathing. Awesome.

The performers were amazing. I swear to you, if you're watching that lame American Idol, you need to get your butt out of the house and see some of the performers that are out there doing it. Here's a sample of one of my other favorites. If it doesn't get your blood moving, I'm not sure there's much else I can do to convince you:

I have been mulling over how to re-introduce everyone to Perplex City, a game about which I blogged briefly before. I stumbled upon a "quickstart guide" which has more specific information than even I was going to provide.

Essentially, Perplex City is a sort of puzzle game where you collect puzzle cards (no, not virtual cards but actual hold-in-your-hand cards) and solve the puzzles contained thereon. Each puzzle is generally self-contained, but several require you to visit some web site of another to get the information required to solve the puzzle.

When you have solved the puzzle, you scratch off the silver area at the top of the card, revealing a 12-digit code. Entering this code into the Perplex City web site, you can attempt to answer the puzzle. If correct, you will be awarded points. You gain a set number of points for a single card, and if you solve all of the puzzles in a group of four cards (every group of four cards is assigned a different name, like "maze", "circles", or "ivy") then you get additional points for solving the whole group. Red cards are the easiest to solve, followed by orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black, and silver.

The silver cards seem very difficult and offer the most points. The rarity of the card is directly related to its color, so red cards are quite common in the random pack assortments, whereas silver cards are quite scarce.

On top of all of that, there is a grand prize for finding an artifact called "The Receda Cube" of $200,000.

To win the prize, you must find the Cube, which has been stolen from the alternate reality of Perplex City and hidden somewhere on Earth. There are many clues strewn throughout the game, on the cards and within the things to which they refer.

A starter set of Perplex City comes in a large box with a card binder, a tour guide of the city, a kind of introductory magazine, a Leitmark pin, an audio CD, and a few packs of Perplex City cards. The audio CD has a bunch of nice ambient tracks on it, and a "hidden track" with a kind of ransom note from the people who stole the Cube.

I was hoping that there were more people out there in the US that were playing who would like to trade via mail. I've got a lot of duplicate cards that I would love to trade for cards I don't have, rather than buying new cards. I do have a bunch of blue and purple cards, a couple of blacks, and a silver for trade, in addition to a bazillion red and orange cards. If you want to trade, please check out my inventory.

I've been making good progress solving the cards, and even solved a silver card without much help. I've been avoiding the Perplex City forums, which seem to have the answers to all of the puzzles which is outright cheating. I mean, it's one thing to use the web to research an answer, and another to look for the exact answer to a specific card. I guess if you get really stuck it might be useful, but I've not reached that point yet.

If you're interested in the game, perhaps I can lure you in to try a couple of free puzzles. First, you need to create an account on the Perplex City website. After you have an account, you can use these two links to see a card and then solve it. You will not need the usual scratch-off code for these two:

• boingboing
• gamedaily (You might need a bigger image of the card.)

You can earn 26 preplex points by solving both of these cards. That will place you ahead of more than half of all registered players! In addition, you will have solved two cards that aren't officially available in packs yet.

There are four waves of Perplex City cards. The first two are currently available, with a third coming soon, and the fourth coming later this year. I'm very anxious to see the new wave of puzzles, and get potentially closer to solving the mystery of the Cube.

By the way, if you know the answer to the card shown above (click the thumbnail for a bigger image), that would be swell. British crossword clues are a bit too foreign for me to wrap my head around.

Ah... Summer entertainment. It's usually hard to come by, but not today.

Last night, Sci Fi aired a new eposide of Battlestar Galactica, and today, Harry Potter book 6 is for sale. And don't forget that tonight the season finale of Teen Titans is on, too.

I'll be at Dave and Larry's in the evening playing D&D, which is slowly becoming less roleplaying than just sitting around the table tweaking numbers on our character sheets. Someone's going to have to do something about that.

Battlestar Galactica was pretty good. I wonder how long they can go with Adama being out of commission before it starts to get old. He really was the one driving the thing. And the President is locked up still. I wonder how her character will not become irrelevant, at least until Starbuck (who is now trapped on Caprica) returns for the Arrow of Apollo.

I'm only 1/6th of the way through Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, and I don't expect to finish it this weekend due to other engagements. It's an interesting book so far, I think. It reminds me more of anime-style storytelling, where you really have no idea what they're talking about until halfway through the story. You just have to kind of take it on trust that they'll eventually bring it around to something you recognize.

I'm really excited to see the end of Teen Titans this season. Teen Titans, along with Battlestar Galactica, is one of the few reasons to watch TV anymore, with such the proliferation of reality shows. In this finale, we'll see what happens with Robin rescuing Raven, who seems to have turned into a little girl that doesn't remember him. Meanwhile, on the surface of Earth, Trigon has pretty much taken over and killed everyone.

I must interject here that if I were really evil, I would still want to keep a few people around to torment. I mean, don't spend all your evil at once.

This was probably the worse weekend ever to promise anything extra for WordPress, but trust that I'm still working on it and I should have something to present by Sunday night. How well it works and how complete it is may still be in contention by that time, though.

Tomorrow should be an interesting day - Our wedding anniversary. I can't remember, were we married in 1998 or 1999? We don't do a lot to celebrate usually, but we're going to try out some of the Blob activities in these parts. Hopefully we aren't consumed by this creature from outer space. More info on this tomorrow.

Hope you're enjoying your weekend!