There is only one redeeming feature of those little chalk-like heart candies (of which we bought way, way too many for the purposes of photographing for our latest beer label): They have sort-of custom text on them.
What's amusing about the hearts is that the packaging presents them as pristine. The text is clear and centered, and there are variations of text there that I've not seen in all of the photographing I've done of them. In reality, the chalky treats have text that is blurry, broken, printed outside the bounds of the candy, or printed too lightly or too heavily, and is in most cases unreadable. I wonder at what point quality control became a non-issue with these candies; when they stopped caring that you could actually read them. Or perhaps the printing was always crap.
I think that we should have this same customized text feature applied to other foods. Like hamburgers. Go into McDonalds or Burger King or wherever you usually eat fast food, and order a burger. On top, the bun should have printed some random text. I'm not sure if it should be holiday-specific. It could just be marketing oriented, like McDonalds street English, "luvin it". Maybe it should include health warnings like "fat ass" or "heart attack". Oh yes, my utopia is quite dystopic.
Well, you blew off Black Friday. Good for you -- it's just a hassle with the crowds when it's not online, anyway.
Rather than looking at Wired's mostly awful gift listing, which included the canned unicorn meat from ThinkGeek, an old April Fool's joke, I have a few gift ideas for this year that are pretty nifty, some of which won't even break the bank.
Speaking of keeping it cheap, let's start with this:
The Boardgame Remix Kit
As it says on the Boardgame Remix site, "Turns the boardbamges you've got into new games you'll love". The current offering is simply a 55-page PDF that gives you some concrete plans for rejuvenating your existing boardgames, for just $4.
There are plans for Monopoly, Scrabble, Cluedo, and Trivial Pursuit, for both tweaking the game subtly and for rewriting the whole thing. There are even some mashups, like the one that uses the full Monopoly set and the questions from Trivial Pursuit to create a kind of taxi fare game where you move by answering questions. It's an original concept.
The only downside is that the game is written for an English audience, so the games have pound notes in Monopoly, for example. Other variations are present, but you can pretty easily convert it into the US places/units.
There are a few other products in development and for pre-order on their site, that look interesting enough to keep an eye on as well.
Shock: social science fiction
I admit to a bit of nerdiness with my geekiness, and that's one reason I like Shock. Shock is a pretty darn neat role playing game. The system itself is utterly unique compared with anything else I've played, which is saying a good bit. It shares hardly anything in common with traditional games.
What you do, in a very simplified explanation, is construct a science fiction story by agreeing with the other players on certain thematic elements of the storyline in advance, and then telling the story live, in a way that allows other players to interrupt if the story doesn't go the way their character would appreciate. A roll of dice and spending of points result in the outcome that dictates the end result. And like all good science fiction, the end result is more important than anyone really "winning".
This game is probably really hard to play. And if you're a D&D player, and you are used to and enjoy the "listen, attack, loot, camp, move forward, repeat" procedure, then you may not enjoy this. Nonetheless, if you're into games, this is at least a fantastic read and a good price from a small press.
PDF and print versions are available, and a bundle of both tops out at $26.
My Sucky Teen Romance
My Sucky Teen Romance is a film about a teen who goes to a geek convention, gets bitten by a real vampire, and then has to rely on her friends to help her work it all out. It reminds me of the good, unpolished Kevin Smith stuff.
Ok, before you skip to the next gift, here are the cool bits: The movie looks really, really fun, and it's produced by 18-year-old writer/director Emily Hagins (who's from Philadelphia too, neat!). Campy vampire movie, you say? Check out the awesome trailer:
Here's the thing: You're late to this one, but you can still get in on the deal. The project that this gift is about is an IndiGoGo project, where you can give money to someone who wants to produce a movie, and when they reach their fundraising goals, they actually produce the movie that they pitched. What's neat about this project is that the movie itself is already complete, they're just raising money to get it into production.
Different contributions give you different perks. For $10, you just get a "Sucky" button. For $1000, you get tickets to the premiere for the film, and all of the other perks. I recommend the somewhat lavish $250 donation, which gets you a personalized, signed copy of the movie from the cast and crew, plus a t-shirt, a poster, a postcard, and the "sucky" button, plus the warm feeling that you helped bring this movie to the world.
Whoomp! Earbud Enhancers
I don't know about you, but I can't wear the regular cheapie earbuds, like the ones that come with Apple products. The iPod earbuds won't stay in my ears. I don't know if my ears are too small or too big or what, but the buds just don't stay in there even if I'm staying absolutely still.
I'm a big fan of my Ultimate Ears earbuds, which are most decidedly not cheapie. I recently bought a set of $20 Skullcandy earbuds while I was out because I forgot my good UE set, and all I can say is "I got what I paid for". Yuck.
Nonetheless, you can at least solve the fit problem for your standard earbuds with these little snap-on earbud thingies, Whoomp! Earbud Enhancers. They snap on to your regular earbuds, and give it that nice little rubbery "noise isolating" earplug insert. At $20 for 2 pair, they're about as much as the new Skullcandy earbuds with the noise isolation built in, but if you have a pair of nice earbuds that otherwise don't fit your ears, this might be a way to salvage them.
On the other hand, if you're just looking for some replacement noise-isolating tips for your existing set of earbuds, Monster makes a SuperTip Starter Kit that might have in it what you need.
Technophile Lip Balm
I'm not a fan of my lips drying out, which tends to happen a lot in the winter when it's cold outside. I usually get the Burts Bees brand of lip balm, but this tube of chocolate flavored Reality Sucks hand-made balm from Geek Bliss looks marketed right at me.
Sara is a geek herself, and produces the lip balm for sale on Etsy. She's got many flavors listed, if chocolate isn't your thing, and as of this writing, everything seems to be on sale.
By the way, Etsy is a nice place to get some hand-made crafty gifts for the folks that really like that kind of thing.
Shapeways
Oh yes, Shapeways isn't really itself a gift, but there are so many cool things for geeks there. No matter what you get from Shapeways, you're getting something that was modeled in 3D on a computer and custom printed out of a 3D printer in whatever material you choose. That's pretty darn cool.
Shapeways has the kind of store like Cafe Press, where you can upload your digital models and get a portion of the sale of an item. My favorite items currently for sale include this $25 iPhone bumper, which is really stylish. This Rubik's Cube Gift Box is a working Rubik's Cube that, when solved, opens to reveal a surprisingly large internal cavity for holding some other item. Check it out:
I gotta say, that's absolutely insane. And so is the $247 price.
But also on Shapeways, you can see the models for d20 role-playing dice, which are reasonably priced and absolutely unique. Here are a few die collections by different modelers:
Projectors are cool. We use one to project movies in the back yard around the fire pit to watch with the kids in the summer. The ShowWX Projector isn't for that, but it's pretty neat.
This projector is different from the other projectors on the market because it uses lasers to create its image. The result of this is that the projector needs no focus adjustment. The focus is always perfect, even around curves.
There are some other projectors on the market that might be brighter, cheaper, or last longer on a charge (yes, these pico-projectors are typically the size of your phone and have an internal rechargeable battery), but there aren't any others that use lasers and don't need focus adjustment.
That said, don't ask me if I've ever used my pico projector for a practical purpose. It's just a really neat gadget looking for a purpose.
Daemon on Audible
Who has time to read? Well, you should make time. But if you can't, you can use Audible. Audible is the audiobook store that powers both Amazon and Apple's audiobook inventory. Why buy direct? Because if you're an avid listener (like during that long commute) you can get an AudibleListener subscription for $15/month and get about one new book per month from Audible's full inventory. (You actually get a credit per month, and some obscenely large books are as much as 2 credits.)
Audible has some great science fiction in their library. I've enjoyed Spin, by Robert Charles Wilson (although the narrator, Scott Brick, isn't my favorite), and the whole lot of John Scalzi's Old Man's War series.
But what you should look out for is Daemon, by Daniel Suarez, which is one of the best books I've read this year. Freedom™, is the sequel, which is also really good.
Tron Legacy by Daft Punk
I don't know what people see in Tron Legacy. I should write a whole post on this topic. This "reboot" is going to be as bad as the Lucas-ification of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. What geeks like is the romance attached to the first movie, and they don't seem to realize that what they're getting is not romance, but HD treatment of their SD childhood movie memories. The graphics in the original Tron looked like that because that's all we could imagine at the time. The graphics in December's Tron Legacy look like that because... Um... They looked like that in 1982?
Nevermind that the movie is directed by someone who's never directed a movie before, and is written by people whose prior efforts include TV, and the best show they could muster was "Lost", which I classify in the "why am I watching this crapfest, and oh, wait, that was the end? Wow, that sucked" type of show. I digress...
The soundtrack looks to be pretty good. Daft Punk hasn't released any music in the last three years, but the release track from the new album is good. It's not released until December 7th, so you might wait until then for more reviews, but based solely on Daft Punk music in the past and the one track of the new album that is available, "Derezzed", I say "buy".
Scott Pilgrim vs The World
With the metric crapload of comic books that have turned into movies over the past few years, you'd think they'd treat some of them right. You know all I have to say to prove my point here is "Daredevil".
Now I don't know if the Scott Pilgrim movie is true to the comic, but the movie is one of the best things released this year. And if you're a geek without it, you've totally lost your cred with me.
I mean come on. "Pee meter." I rest my case.
Fujifilm FinePix Real 3D W3 Digital Camera
I was pretty amazed by the $400 Real 3D W3 when I saw it. It's a camera with two lenses and two 10-megapixel sensors. The lenses can be set to different settings so that you can take a telephoto image with one lens and a wide image with the other, but of the same subject and at the same time. You can set the camera to use different exposure settings for the two lenses also, which lets you get interesting action shots or at least compensate for an utter lack of camera know-how.
The camera, like most digitals these days, takes movies. This one takes movies in 720p. In 3D. If you have a 3D TV, you can hook this camera to it and it'll play back the 3D movies you've taken with it.
Oh. The screen on the camera is 3D, too. And doesn't use glasses.
Outlets To Go Power Strip with USB
The $12 Outlets To Go Power Strip with USB is one of those things you didn't realize you needed until you have one and have been using it for a while. It's basically just a standard 3-outlet power strip with a single USB charger.
This is similar to the Belkin mini surge suppressor, which has three outlets and 2 USB ports ($9). We actually have a few of these around our house. The problem with them is that they don't have a cord, and so you have to be right next to the outlet to use it.
What makes the Outlets To Go strip nice is that it has a compact cord that allows you to get just a little bit farther away from the outlet. The advertising suggests that this is good for hotels. This is not where you will find the most use for the strip. This strip will be most useful at the airport and coffee shop, where you need to barter for space among the 4 outlets they leave exposed. You can be someone's best friend if you add another available electrical outlet. And with the USB port, you can charge your phone at the same time. Nice!
One other nice thing about the Outlets To Go strip is that the plug prongs fit nicely into one of its own outlets while it's stored. With the Belkin model (and this is my bigger complaint about it), the prongs are always exposed in the bag, taking up an odd amount of space at the bottom. It's always bending up pages of books or making it hard to fit notebooks in there. It's a small thing, but for an extra $3, you get a cord and tucked away prongs. That's not bad.
Enough people were commenting on a gift guide from a previous year that I thought I might write up a new one this year. The items on this list are practically all on my own personal wish list. The prices listed are approximate -- you can probably find deals on all of this stuff if you look even a little bit.
Meade TrussTube Dobsonian Telescope
If you read here regularly, you will know that I like astronomy. There's something about space that has piqued my interest since I was a kid. Berta got me a really great telescope for Christmas one year, one of the Meade models with the computerized star finders, but the aperture of the telescope is such that you can't really see the full depth of the sky.
This Meade Light Bridge telescope comes in parts that you assemble in the field, and lets you build a fairly large scope with an aperture from 8 inches to 18 inches in diameter. That'll get you a lot of sky. The size of the telescope causes the price to vary, but the 8 inch model starts around $390.
Celestron SkyScout Personal Planetarium
One more astronomy gadget, the SkyScout personal planetarium is a little handheld gadget with a viewfinder. When you locate an object in the sky with it, you push a button and the device tells you what you're looking at. You can also look up an object, and it will use arrows in the viewfinder to direct you to that object. Much easier that carting a book out into the field. It costs around $200.
Kaossilator
The Kaossilator is a sort of pocket-sized electronic synthesizer instrument from Korg. It allows you to compose music easily by setting an instrument with a knob, and then drawing with your finger on its touchpad. It's somewhat hard to describe in words how the device is used, but the video demonstrates it pretty well. The Kaossilator can be found online for under $200.
Livescribe Pulse Pen
I've had a Pulse for a while and finally got the software update I needed to get it to work fully under 64-bit Vista.
It's basically a $200 pen that records what you write in its internal memory, and lets you sync those recordings with your computer. It can also record audio that syncs with your written notes, so if you write notes during a lecture, you can later tap on your notes with your pen, and it'll play back the lecture from that point.
Its operating system is built in Java, and it shouldn't be long before people start coding custom applications for this thing. Considering the breadth of software that is available for the Fly Fusion (another similar product but aimed at kids), I'm anxious to see that happen.
Born To Perform DVD
Here's a little thought outside of the box. Many tech folks consider themselves "wizards" of some kind. So why not give them a gift that lets them extend that impression?
I've had Born to Perform in my DVD library for a while now. It's the very basic basics of card magic. This DVD demonstrates the required grips and slights that get you to the beginner level of performance, and provides you with enough tricks to keep people entertained at parties and conferences. It's only $30, but it leads to addiction, so beware.
Domain Registration
My DNS bills... Oh, the humanity! Please drop a few bucks on the one you love to help them pay for their vanity domain registration. You know, the thing that lets you send email to them at "billys-own-domain.com". GoDaddy has digital gift cards that work in email, which is especially great for those distant geek gift recipients you forgot until the last minute.
There are probably a dozen other things that you could get useful gift certificates for that your geek would love. While Best Buy cards are always appreciated, the special love that goes into choosing a DNSStuff or DomainTools membership or a Pro Flickr account extension, depending on your geek's inclinations, can say a lot.
Sphereplay - Playing in the Multisphere
This DVD is kind of along the same lines as the card magic one, but is oriented to a specific aspect contact juggling. If you've ever seen The Labyrinth (and what geek hasn't?), then this is what David Bowie does with that ball (except it's not him doing it, it's a guy standing right behind him, who wrote this book on the topic).
Don't forget to pick up a set of acrylic balls to go with this, or there will be no point in watching the DVD.
Algin and Calcic
Algin and Calic are two additive ingredients for food that will let you do something called "Spherification" in a cooking discipline known as "Molecular Gastronomy". The basic process is this: First, mix some calcic into a bowl of water. Then add a little algin to pureed (like watermelon) or liquid food, put some into the calcic bath using a spoon or a syringe, then quickly remove it from the bath and rinse it in clean water.
The end result is a small balloon that contains the liquid ingredient. This is another one of those things that's hard to describe without seeing. Hopefully this video does it for you.
There's a few weird ingredients like these available that all do different, exotic things to your food. I think that being a geek and following recipes (and subsequently ignoring them to experiment) go hand in hand, which is what makes this product so exciting. Each is available by itself, Algin for $60, Calcic for $25.
Harmony One Remote
I'm sure I've talked about the Harmony Remote before. (In fact, it was in last gift guide!) It's a pretty impressive piece of tech. It's not just a remote, but perhaps the best remote ever made.
You configure your remote using your PC, then it transfers the necessary settings to the remote via USB. This lets you configure one-button access to common functions, which is especially useful when your geek has 50 components he needs to turn on when he wants to watch TV.
If you have any other geek gift ideas, please mention them here!
There is no Christmas shopping done. I think we've just about given up this year. My only enthusiasm for this holiday so far is for it to be over. Of the bazillion lights we bought last year to put outside, we've hung exactly zero.
I think we blew through our Christmas enthusiasm on the weekend after Thanksgiving when we went tree shopping, couldn't find the usual place, and ended up with a decent but pre-cut tree. I wasn't home when Berta and the kids decorated both trees this year. The one in the family room still isn't done being decorated, I think. And thinking about it now, I wonder if I'm going to have the stamina for two trees worth of holiday.
To accompany the live tree in the living room we're getting new furniture on Tuesday. A loveseat. Some form of seating has been on order from somewhere or other since September, and is only now arriving. Note that this is only half of the pieces that were ordered. Some kind of leather chair is yet to have a delivery date.
Thursday is my company Christmas party. We're bowling someplace downtown. Seems like it should be more fun than the company-sponsored parties at previous jobs.
This weekend is the usual trip to Johnstown. Berta's sister Ellen will be in from Idaho, hence the imperative to visit this weekend. As a result, we're missing Stan's annual party, and Brian visiting, and the only full weekend that Pat will be home. I'm not bitter, but I am just turning off the emotion parts or I think the speed of this holiday will shred me. I will concentrate on preparing to keep myself entertained over the weekend, which will all go to waste as we involve ourselves with visiting relatives and Berta's eldest sister's 40th birthday party, all backed into the 39 hour span of a visit.
Also our clothes washer has broken. I realize I'm a lot better off than a lot of people out there, but a little holiday magic/sanity/rest/time-dilation would be appreciated.