The new live-action Aeon Flux is going to star Charlize Theron. Uh, fine by me.

The Blob

Yesterday was our 7-year wedding anniversary (married in 1998), and to "celebrate" Berta and I went out to Phoenixville to attend a screening of "The Blob" at Blobfest 2005.

The Blob (no, not "Blob the Builder") is a film about a meteor that falls to Earth containing some kind of blob-like creature that gets bigger when it dissolves human flesh. The main character, played by Steve McQueen tries to warn the town against this terror, but he simply can't get people to believe him.

So you might wonder why there is a Blobfest for such a B-movie horror flick. Well, it's because The Blob was filmed right in this area. In fact, the theater in which we watched The Blob yesterday was actually in the movie!

Moreover, the movie takes place in Downingtown, which is the town where we live. There is a diner at the end of movie where they hide from the blob. My mom used to work in that diner. The diner has changed hands many times over the years, but it was at one time named "The Blob Diner" and was decorated all in 50's style, complete with pink countertops and neon.

For the 1950's, The Blob wasn't too bad for special effects. We learned that the blob was actually a glob of silicone that they rolled around miniature sets to make it look as if it was very large. They would tilt the mini-set to make the blob roll. We got to see the actual blob of red silicone (now dyed red because of the bloody people it consumed) that was used inthe movie, and one fo the small sets that they used to film the scene.

In the part of the movie where the blob oozes through the holes in the projector room of the on-screen theater, everyone turned to look back toward the projection booth, maybe to compare the theater on the screen to the one in real life, or maybe to make sure they were safe from the blob.

There were a couple of speakers befoe the movie, who had informative things to say about it. The first guy was apparently hired as a grip, but he ended up slating most of the scenes, so he ended up being one of the first people running out of the theater when they realize they're about to be eaten. The second guy was the caretaker of the blob, which must be kept on ice to prevent it from eating people. No kidding.

The best part of the movie, apart from seeing places I actually knew, was when Steve convinces his friends to come out of the theater to help him find the blob. The one friend says something like, "Ok, so now that I've wasted my 80 cents on this movie, what do you what?" 80 cents? We paid $7 per person!

I think that The Blob deserves a good remake. And I'm not talking about the cheesy remakes where they re-imagine the whole movie, I'm just saying they should fix up the theater, use basically the same dialogue that they used in the 1950's version, and just have a higher-quality print. And maybe it could use computer effects to make the blob scenes look a little more fluid. It's really a shame that old B-movies don't hold up so well over the years. I wonder if there's a DVD copy of The Blob to be had.

Anyway, we had a good time. I bought a t-shirt from the Blobfest, and I got a free Colonial Theater poster. Maybe next year we'll go up on the day that they do the escape from the theater, for which they get everyone inside and make them run out to re-enact the scene from the movie.

Nicole Kidman

I saw Bewitched over the weekend and again last night with Berta, and apart from it being a cute and entertaining movie, I have one other significant thing to say about it:

Tom Cruise is insane -- Nicole Kidman is a hottie with brains and actual acting ability.

Katie Holmes may be cute and mousey and part of that WB-generation, but I have yet to see her do anythng that's significant acting-wise.

Nicole's got chops. She's 37 and could easily play early-twenties. She can act. Maybe her Batman movie wasn't the greatest, but she has been in a few good movies. I mean, Katie Holmes never won (and will never win) an Oscar.

What a doofus.

Here is our media cabinet. My mom built this thing to our specifications for storing all of our DVD movies and such. We were originally thinking of moving our CD collection in here, too, but there just isn't enough room.

In the left-side door are all of "Abby's DVDs", the Disney ones and the Muppet ones. There are also a few of the Miyazaki movies that have migrated to that side of the cabinet. Most of our other movies are too violent, obscene, or lewd for Abby to watch, which is why we've separated them.

There is a set of DVDs on teh topmost shelf that we're going to sell at some point. Maybe on eBay. They're great movies like Dude, Where's My Car? and Dick. They've gotta go.

I have a database of DVDs around somewhere, although I'm sure it's not complete since we've added quite a few since the time I scanned everything with the CueCat. Maybe I'll get back to that to keep it up-to-date. There is somewhere in the neighborhood of 200 to 300 movies in there, and it would be difficult to sort out which ones I had already scanned and not.

The complete list from the last time I scanned (a couple years ago?) follows. Seen any of these?

  • 24: Season One
  • A Beautiful Mind
  • A Bug's Life
  • Absolute Power
  • Agent Cody Banks
  • Along Came a Spider
  • Amélie (Le Fabuleux Destin d´Amélie Poulain)
  • American Beauty
  • American History X
  • American Pie - Unrated
  • An American Werewolf in Paris
  • AntiTrust
  • Army Of Darkness
  • Atlantis: The Lost Empire
  • Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
  • Batman
  • Batman & Robin
  • Bear In The Big Blue House: Party Time With Bear
  • Bear In The Big Blue House: Potty Time With Bear
  • Bear In The Big Blue House: Shapes, Sounds And Colors
  • Bear in the Blue House - Visiting the Doctor with Bear
  • Beauty and the Beast
  • Being John Malkovich
  • Ben-Hur
  • Blade
  • Blade II
  • Blade Runner
  • Bless the Child
  • Bring It On
  • Brotherhood Of The Wolf (Le Pacte des Loups)
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Four
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season One
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Three
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Two
  • Burn-Up Excess - Vol. 1: To Serve and Protect
  • Can't Hardly Wait
  • Castle in the Sky
  • Chicken Run
  • Chobits - Vol. 1: Persocom
  • Chobits - Vol. 2: The Empty City
  • Chobits - Vol. 3: Darkness Descends
  • Con Air
  • Conspiracy Theory
  • Contact
  • Creature Comforts
  • Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
  • Cruel Intentions
  • Dangerous Liaisons
  • Dead Man on Campus
  • Deep Impact
  • Demolition Man
  • Devil's Advocate
  • Dick
  • Dogma
  • Donnie Brasco
  • Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and
  • Dumbo
  • Election
  • Elizabeth
  • Elmo's World
  • Elmo's World Springtime Fun
  • Elmo's World: Wake Up With Elmo!
  • Elmo's World: Wild Wild West
  • Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas
  • Enemy at the Gates
  • Enemy of the State
  • Entrapment
  • eXistenZ
  • Fallen
  • Fargo
  • Fierce Creatures
  • Fight Club
  • Forces Of Nature
  • Frank Herbert's Dune
  • Frantic
  • Freeway
  • From Dusk Till Dawn
  • Frosty The Snowman
  • Futurama: Volume One
  • Gattaca
  • Ghost World
  • Girlfight
  • Gladiator
  • Go
  • Golden Boy - Vol. 1: Treasure Hunt
  • Golden Boy - Vol. 2: Bound for Glory
  • GoldenEye
  • Good Will Hunting
  • Grosse Pointe Blank
  • Hackers
  • Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  • Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • Hercules
  • Here Comes Peter Cottontail
  • Hollow Man
  • How the Grinch Stole Christmas/Horton Hears a Who
  • I Know What You Did Last Summer
  • Ice Age
  • I'm Your Man
  • Jackie Chan's First Strike
  • Jade
  • Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
  • Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie
  • Kate & Leopold
  • Killing Me Softly
  • L.A. Confidential
  • Lady and the Tramp
  • Ladyhawke
  • Legally Blonde
  • Lexx: Season 2 Episodes 01-04
  • Lilo & Stitch
  • Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
  • Lost In Space
  • Love Hina - Vol. 1: Moving In
  • Love Hina - Vol. 2: Go West!
  • Love Hina - Vol. 3: Secret Lives
  • Love Hina - Vol. 4: Love Hurts
  • Lucky Numbers
  • Mallrats
  • Meet Joe Black
  • Memento
  • Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
  • Minority Report
  • Monsters, Inc.
  • Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  • Mortal Kombat
  • Much Ado About Nothing
  • Mulan
  • Ninja Scroll
  • No Way Out
  • Noir - Vol. 1: Shades of Darkness
  • North by Northwest
  • Ocean's Eleven
  • Pecker
  • Peter Pan
  • Peter Pan: Return to Never Land
  • Phone Booth
  • Piglet's Big Movie
  • Pinocchio
  • Planet Of The Apes
  • Pleasantville
  • Point of No Return
  • Practical Magic
  • Princess Mononoke
  • Proof of Life
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Rat Race
  • Road Trip
  • Robin Hood
  • Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
  • Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends: Complete Season 1
  • Ronin
  • Rounders
  • Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
  • Rumble in the Bronx
  • Samurai Jack: The Premiere Movie
  • Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town
  • Saving Private Ryan
  • Scourge of Worlds
  • Scream
  • Se7en
  • Secretary
  • Sex and Lucia
  • Shakespeare in Love
  • Shrek
  • Snatch
  • Sneakers
  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
  • Spawn
  • Spider-Man
  • Spirited Away
  • Spy Game
  • Starship Troopers
  • Strange Days
  • Sugar & Spice
  • Sweet Home Alabama
  • Swordfish
  • Tarzan
  • The Aristocats
  • The Art of War
  • The Book of Pooh: Stories from the Heart
  • The Bourne Identity
  • The Contender
  • The Count Of Monte Cristo
  • The Crow
  • The Emperor's New Groove
  • The Fifth Element
  • The Frighteners
  • The Game
  • The Godfather DVD Collection
  • The Great Escape
  • The Green Mile
  • The Incredible Adventures Of Wallace & Gromit
  • The Iron Giant
  • The Jungle Book
  • The Jungle Book 2
  • The Little Mermaid
  • The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
  • The Mask of Zorro
  • The Matrix
  • The Mummy
  • The Mummy Returns
  • The Musketeer
  • The Negotiator
  • The Opposite of Sex
  • The Others
  • The Princess Bride
  • The Princess Diaries
  • The Record of Lodoss War: Complete Series
  • The Replacements
  • The Ring
  • The Secret of NIMH
  • The Shawshank Redemption
  • The Silence of the Lambs
  • The Sixth Sense
  • The Sting
  • The Thin Red Line
  • The Time Machine
  • The Transporter
  • The Usual Suspects
  • The Way of the Gun
  • The Whole Nine Yards
  • The Wild Thornberrys Movie
  • There's Something About Mary
  • Those Who Hunt Elves V1: Ready, Set - STRIP!
  • Titan A.E.
  • Titanic
  • Tombstone
  • Tomorrow Never Dies
  • Total Recall
  • Toy Story
  • Toy Story 2
  • Traffic
  • Training Day
  • Treasure Planet
  • True Lies
  • Tuck Everlasting
  • Unbreakable
  • Unforgiven
  • Varsity Blues
  • VeggieTales: The Star of Christmas
  • Very Bad Things
  • Wag the Dog
  • What Women Want
  • Who Am I?
  • Wild Things
  • X-Men
  • Y Tu Mamá También

Lightsaber Duel

In tune with a suggestion from somewhere that I review more movies (and I don't know why anyone would suggest this because I can't help but think most people hate my movie reviews), I now present a micro-review of Star Wars Episodes I and II. Yes, The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones.

I recently rented both of these movies through Blockbuster Online on the hunch that Abby might enjoy them. After all, George Lucas' theory is that these movies are for kids. Most people who like the Star Wars world so much today were kids when it was in theaters. The crazy idea is that adults hate these movies because they're not as cool as how they remember the original three movies being way back when.

To pound this point to death, it's kind of like when you're a kid and you go on vacation and you see a monument or something and it's so grand and majestic. It's so big and wonderful and exciting and since you've not been many places, it's extraordinary. As a kid you say, "Wow!" But then you return to that place much later in life with all of the grand memories of the things you saw, and instead of the majesty, you notice the garbage everywhere, the homeless people sleeping around the backside, the graphitti on the steps, the broken windows, and the fact that everything is so much smaller than you recall.

That's why everyone loves the original Star Wars movies, and hates the new ones. So the experiment here is to come at it from the mindset of a child, to set aside any influence that fanboy friends might have had during the original screening, and see if these movies are actually any good.

I really hyped Abby on the whole Jedi thing. After all, aren't Jedi the coolest good-guys around? They can move things with their minds, they can sense when bad things are happening, and they are so good at attuning themselves to The Force that they can deflect laser beams with their lightsabers. Oh, yeah - that's darn cool.

And I think when you get over the fact that some of the acting is utter and complete crap (Ok, fine - It's flat. It's like it's read from a cue card and contains no emotion.) these movies actually aren't that bad.

Abby rather enjoyed the lightsaber scenes, and, surprisingly, the pod racing. But the utter shocker is that she really liked Jar-Jar. Now before you go off half-cocked and say something I'll have to pummel you for, just remind yourself of the audience. This kid, like most, enjoys cartoons with funny voices and strange looks to them. Jar-Jar isn't providing the dry dialogue like Obi-wan or Qui-gon. When they're talking on-screen, Abby just kind of watched with half interest, waiting for the lightsabers to come back out. Jar-Jar was amusing to her, as I assume it would be to many young children - as Lucas was expecting.

As far as the second movie goes, I have my own questions. What the heck is going on? How is it that Jango Fett was living with the clone-makers, but was working for the guys from the Dark Side? Lord Dooku aka Darth Sidious aka Lord Tyrannus? Everyone's got so many stinking weird names, I can't keep track.

And once again the whole Dark Side issue rears its head to me. I think maybe I was let down by the story, which could have provided an intersting twist and an easy entry to Anakin becoming Vader. Dooku tells Obi-wan that the leaders of the trade federation realized their error in invading Naboo, having been influenced by the powers of the Dark Side. This is his excuse for these guys getting together to build the robot army - they need to fight the evil forces that have been infiltrating the senate. It turns out that this is a really freaking good lie. I think it would have been a much more interesting story if this was actually the case, where the Jedi are unknowingly doing the bidding of some Dark Side overlord who is secretly manipulating the senate.

The main problem I have with the second movie is that I have no idea where the sides are. Am I the only one who's lost?

Anyway, Abby enjoyed when C-3P0 lost his head.

I enjoyed when Padme finally fell out of that transport in the worst bit of stunt work ever recorded on film. Honestly, you need to watch Garden State because she's really good in that.

In all, the movies weren't a complete waste of time as some would have you believe, and might be worth a re-watch on DVD before the third installment comes out on May 19th.