Asymptomatic

I know that many people are looking forward to my telling of my vacation, especially about the part where I was dead, but as I was writing it last night (actually, dictating it to the computer, just like this entry) I had gotten 45 paragraphs in thought, "Gee, I ought to save this at some point," and at that very moment, my text editor decided to completely crash on me. So the end result is that you won't be hearing about my trip for a little while longer yet. Suffice to say that I have enough to say about it that I will definitely need to write about it.

In the meantime, allow me to complain about my satellite dish receiver. I've been a longtime Dish Network customer, and when we moved to the new house we renewed our subscription to the service and got all brand-new equipment. One of the weird things about the new equipment is that it's all rental. We previously owned our equipment, now we rent it for a small fee every month just like other people do from their cable companies. It's not a big deal, but if I think about it too much it really gets on my nerves. Fortunately, there is an upside.

Once about every two years, the satellite receiver dies. There's really no explanation for it, although they frequently blame it on electrical surges, which is nigh impossible considering how much surge suppression I put between the power line and the receiver. Whatever the cause, the receiver just starts behaving strangely and eventually won't let you watch TV anymore....

I'm sure I'm not the only person who has had this question, especially in this age of Tivos and DVRs: Where can I get a schedule of things that have happened?

It's interesting. I've completely given up on the printed TVGuide. Why pay money for a weekly throwaway schedule of TV shows that doesn't even cover well all 100+ channels of programming that I receive? I wouldn't, especially because I can get that information directly via my TV tuner or, if I'm desperate, through the internet. But the printed TV Guide has one advantage over these digital mediums - it keeps near-term historical information.

If I wanted to know what I missed on TV tonight now that it's 1am, I really can't think of a way to figure that out. I can only hope that my DVR recorded the programs that I wanted to watch. Since I don't have a Tivo, it's not quite smart enough to follow around the shows that I like if they change time slots or whatever. So it's of some small value to me to see the passed evening's, or even yesterday's or the day before's, schedule. And this isn't the only thing like this....

Frankly, this writer's strike and the lull between seasons is killing me. The fact that on-demand passive entertainment isn't flowing through my retinas to my brain at whatever hour I desire has got me clamoring for Hollywood hide. So what's a guy to do?

Well, there's always books. I'm not opposed to books, but I've found that sometimes I just want to sit and veg out in front of the boob tube. I've come to a few answers about what to watch while waiting for things to get back to normal, and maybe I'll survive.

Answer #1: Jericho -- I don't know what you guys think, but when this thing was on originally, it didn't get any of the play that it deserved. Since it got resurrected for a second season, three episodes have leaked their way out to download sites. Grab them. Then watch them on TV. Then figure out a way to get these folks paid without having to cater to network TV. IT would suck for it to really go off the air. Maybe it's already too late....

Somehow I've become addicted to Naruto, and I can't stop watching it. I think the only way I'm going to stop is if I run out of episodes.

Naruto is kinda of anime based on manga -- It's a cartoon. The comic books (manga) come out every so often, telling the story of Naruto Uzumaki, a ninja from the hidden leaf village, also known as Konoha. Ninjas in this story are usually helpful people, unless they are specifically evil, and Naruto is in training to become the Hokage - the leader of the village. Although he's such an idiot sometimes, his chances at Hokage are pretty slim.

What's tricky about Naruto is that he's a kind of an outcast because when he was very young he had the spirit (?) of the nine-tailed fox sealed inside him. The nine-tailed fox is a legendary evil figure, killing villagers wantonly. His chakra - ninja superpower essense - is very strong, and because it is sealed inside Naruto, Naruto occasionally has the opportunity to make use of it, often to amazing and beneficial effect....

In the recent 941/942 double-issue of Entertainment Weekly, they've listed 32 things (page 110) that they hate about Entertainment these days. They've not gone far enough. I've revised their list to make more sense. Observe:

1. EW: "Paris Hilton on CNN"
Me: "Paris Hilton"

You may be able to tell how this is going to go...

2. EW: "The overuse of that damn KT Tunstall song 'Suddenly I see'"
Me: The overuse of any song that might otherwise be a catchy pop tune that one could easily put into their MP3 rotation. Additionally, the changing of words to "good" (read: recognizable) songs to be used as advertising jingles. Also, the word "damn" as an adjective. (Editor dude, it's a verb.)

3. EW: "TV shows that end at 10:02pm. Our DVRs don't know to wait up."
Me: TV networks that haven't figured out how to cater to DVR users. Tivo for patenting the process and TV Networks for scaring other DVR makers into not providing the handy time-shifting features that would record those extra two minutes. (Hey, mine does it. EW, does your equipment suck?)

Oh yes, there are 32 of these... more