Somehow I've become addicted to Naruto, and I can't stop watching it. I think the only way I'm going to stop is if I run out of episodes.

Naruto is kinda of anime based on manga -- It's a cartoon. The comic books (manga) come out every so often, telling the story of Naruto Uzumaki, a ninja from the hidden leaf village, also known as Konoha. Ninjas in this story are usually helpful people, unless they are specifically evil, and Naruto is in training to become the Hokage - the leader of the village. Although he's such an idiot sometimes, his chances at Hokage are pretty slim.

What's tricky about Naruto is that he's a kind of an outcast because when he was very young he had the spirit (?) of the nine-tailed fox sealed inside him. The nine-tailed fox is a legendary evil figure, killing villagers wantonly. His chakra - ninja superpower essense - is very strong, and because it is sealed inside Naruto, Naruto occasionally has the opportunity to make use of it, often to amazing and beneficial effect.

Naruto might not be the brightest Ninja in training in Konoha, but he is the most enthusiastic. His enthusiasm is often what gets him in trouble with his fellow genin (the first level ninja rank), and he's often rushing into situations that he should really give more thought to. I hope that as the series continues, Naruto learns to keep this under control, but that might adjust his character too significantly.

One of Naruto's driving passions is to keep his friends safe. During his early training, he was teamed up with Sakura and Sasuke. Sakura hasn't been of much use during the initial episodes, but I think she may factor in more heavily as she progresses in her healing training. Sasuke, on the other hand, has amazing skills, being the last of the Uchiha clan. Sasuke's vendetta against his brother for killing the rest of his clan has consumed him, leading him to join Orochimaru, an evil ninja who, in addition to planning on destroying Konoha, wants to use Sasuke's body as a vessel for his own soul when the opportunity is ripe.

There is so much going on in this series that it's hard to write about. At first, I thought it was just a simple little cartoon, Dragonball-Z-style, where they recap most of last week's episode with standing around posturing and exposition. But it really has some interesting character development, and it's never just as simple as a couple of guys duking it out to increase some unseen power level.

One of my favorite interactions is between Naruto and Hinata. Hinata has a crush on Naruto, and has taken many of his ways to heart. She trains obsessively to be like Naruto, and is always calling on memories of his passion to bolster her own strength and resolve. Whenever Naruto pays her too much attention she blushes and feints. And of course, Naruto is oblivious to the whole situation.

I'm in the middle of the 8th season of episodes. Actually, I'm on episode 183. There is only one more season of Naruto available to watch after this one, and then I'll be caught up to the series as it airs in Japan. I got caught up in Naruto by watching the marathon that Cartoon Network had a few weeks back, which was only the first couple of seasons, but dubbed versions. I made the mistake of looking online for more episodes and found many seasons worth, all subbed.

The subbed versions are better for content. I particularly enjoy the informational data that they provide when a character says something odd. For example, they explain many of the puns, which are mostly removed from the dubbed versions. Also, they'll use the actual names of food eaten, but describe the food a bit better in a separate subtitle, rather than just convert it to some dumbed-down version like they do when they dub it. They also don't remove the profanity, of which there is just the right amount, I think.

I'm looking forward to more of the series, and am particularly interested in learning why Sasuke's brother killed the rest of their clan. I have come to expect in this series that there are reasons for everything, even if they haven't mentioned it specifically.

In the recent 941/942 double-issue of Entertainment Weekly, they've listed 32 things (page 110) that they hate about Entertainment these days. They've not gone far enough. I've revised their list to make more sense. Observe:

1. EW: "Paris Hilton on CNN"
Me: "Paris Hilton"

You may be able to tell how this is going to go...

2. EW: "The overuse of that damn KT Tunstall song 'Suddenly I see'"
Me: The overuse of any song that might otherwise be a catchy pop tune that one could easily put into their MP3 rotation. Additionally, the changing of words to "good" (read: recognizable) songs to be used as advertising jingles. Also, the word "damn" as an adjective. (Editor dude, it's a verb.)

3. EW: "TV shows that end at 10:02pm. Our DVRs don't know to wait up."
Me: TV networks that haven't figured out how to cater to DVR users. Tivo for patenting the process and TV Networks for scaring other DVR makers into not providing the handy time-shifting features that would record those extra two minutes. (Hey, mine does it. EW, does your equipment suck?)

Oh yes, there are 32 of these...

4. EW: "That on The Bachelor every single rose ceremony that comes down the pike seems to be dubbed 'the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.'"
Me: Isn't this item cliche? My friends and I have been using "...and on a very special X" as an expression since the 80s. Being topical is more than just throwing out buzzwords, it's also about nixing the old cliches.

5. EW: "Peter Parker's emo haircut."
Me: If you want to smack up a comic book movie, let's do it right: Comic book movies that suck because the director and actors never read the disgustingly impressive volume of work that predated their little wrecking-ball project. Not to say that Spider-Man is one of these, but, hey... It is!

6. EW: "Threequels"
Me: Movies that were either not original enough in their own right to depart well from their origin, or not close enough to the source material to do it justice.

7. EW: "The word threequels."
Me: Magazines that make up or publicize made up words and then decry them. I never even heard this word before this EW. It's a freakin' trilogy.

8. EW: "Movies shot in Toronto that aren't set in Toronto"
Me: Movies shot in space that have outside sound or otherwise defy the laws of physics.

9. EW: "Hollywood's indiscriminate use of the words artist and genius."
Me: Hard to argue against, but worth noting that "Hollywood commentary" isn't doing much better. See #7.

10. EW: "People who relish Katie Couric's ratings struggle."
Me: People who care so much about ratings over the actual art of storytelling or quality of the entertainment. (No, this doesn't have anything to do with Couric, it has to do with ratings.)

11. EW: "Upsizing" sales tactics at the concession stand."
Me: I'll one-up that: The giant size "small" with the quarter's difference to upsize. Where has the freaking "small" gone?

12. EW: "Overdone reality show orchestration."
Me: Reality shows. I hate to complain about them, but it seems that their all that's on. We braindead Americans must love our braindead TV, I guess.

13. EW: "When someone is 'playing' a musical instrument on screen and it's obvious not only that they are not playing the instrument but that they haven't even been taught how to fake playing the instrument."
Me: When someone is "acting" in a role, and it's obvious not only that they are not "acting" but that they haven't even been taught how to fake acting. See also: Keanu Reeves.

14. EW: "Teenage stars who talk about how they've been waiting their entire lives for a moment like this."
Me: You know what? Maybe they have. What makes their age any less pertinent than a 30-something saying it? Does youth necessarily imply that they've been at it for less time? No.

15. EW: "Ringtones."
Me: Crappy phone technology, held back by fly-eating cell phone producers. But that belongs on a completely different list. (Fly -eating: So miserly that when the waiter brings the soup, instead of complaining that it has a fly in it, they eat the fly, too.)

16. EW: "Stars who insist they hate the paparazzi while courting them by showing up at place like the Ivy."
Me: Magazines who believe that they little "I hate paparazzi" act is anything but.

17. EW: "The line 'dancing for their lives' on So You Think You Can Dance."
Me: Assuming I watch every crappy show you review to have ever heard that line.

18. EW: "New release DVDs that have zero extras."
Me: New release DVDs that are dissed because of their lack of extras. Seriously, I've never bought one disc pack because of some "extra feature" it had over another pack that lacked that feature. My discriminators are first the transfer quality of the original movie, and second, the price. Anything after that is gravy.

19. EW: "When TV shows are based in cold places, yet no one is sufficiently bundled up."
Me: When unrealistic "ACCESS DENIED" messages are displayed on computer screens instead of using the same OSX/Windows/Linux GUI systems that everyone is familiar with. Geez, you'd think that sponsorship would be used here.

20. EW: "Music videos where the singer romps around in white sheets on a bed, looking all moony and in love."
Me: Music videos. Didn't MP3 kill the video star? It should have already. Maybe EW just hasn't noticed that music videos have become fairly irrelevant.

21. EW: "The fact that Kate Winslet does not have an Ocsar."
Me: Uh, for what? Instead, let's lament the lousy Oscar categories, the fact that they're judged by peers (who seem to mainly rely on influences outside of actually watching the film), and that they suck up multiple hours of TV time better spent on, well, anything.

22. EW: "The word 'pitchy'."
Me: Uh, ok.

23. EW: "Athletes who rap."
Me: Rap backbeats and the claptrap they speak on top of it. Let's face it, rap isn't going away. Some of it is good. Some of it sounds good. And most of it is just meaningless words on top of a slicked-up baseline. Want to know what's cool about the Beastie Boys' music? It's got guitars. Want to know what's cool about Beck? He's a musician. Pull any kid off the street and give him a mic and play some bass track behind him (and promote the crap out of him) and he'll be played out of the trunk of every hoopdie. But please - "talent" is the word. And since I've listed two white groups, I'll note that Snoop Dog is also talented. That guy can get the job done, son. The corollary is, of course, that just because you're a musician, that doesn't mean you should rap. (See also: Gwen Stefani)

24. EW: "Foreign characters speaking to each other in accented English instead of subtitles."
Me: Stepping it up: Movie studios that think that people won't go see their movies if there are subtitles. See also: Pan's Labyrinth

25: EW: "The 2007 MTV Movie Award for the Best Summer Movie We Haven't Seen Yet."
Me: MTV. MTV belonged to my generation. Now it should go peacefully.

26. EW: "Waiting around for Guns N' Roses to release Chinese Democracy."
Me: Waiting for Chinese Democracy. Get some perspective, EW.

27. EW: "Promo spots in which TV cast members walk toward the camera, or spin around, and get wind blown through their hair."
Me: Promo spots for "next week's episode" at the end of the night's episode that never materialize.

28. EW: "People outrunning fireballs."
Me: Every actor and actress looking like they fell out of Cosmo or GQ.

29. EW: "Actors sitting in the audience at awards shows, trying to joke with the host. We can't hear you&emdash;and neither can the host."
Me: Award shows. See also: #21

30. EW: "Reality shows about mundane professions: The Ace of Cakes!"
Me: Reality shows. I'm experiencing deja vu here. If we have so little good to say about them, why are they on?

31. EW: "Movie trailers in which an explosion cuts of profanity."
Me: Movie trailers that show you the most funny parts and give away the juicy bits.

32. EW: "TV shows without the commercial interruptions."
Me: WHAT??

I guess that Echostar/Dish Network decided to roll out a new version of their software onto my satellite receiver recently. There has been talk of it on the forums, but I'm still wondering just what benefit this software supposed to have to me.

I only noticed that the software update had taken place because the receiver is now completely unable to play back a HD show while it is recording it. As an example, I was recording 24 in HD last night but wasn't watching it. About 45 minutes into recording the show, I turned on the TV and started to watch. I tried to, anyway.

After selecting the show from my recording list, the information bar appeared, superimposed on a black screen. A minute or two later, the screen went to static. I assume that the system rebooted. I was able to start the show playback again, but the recording had obviously stopped. I needed to manually start recording the rest of the live program, and I missed several minutes between the two separate recordings.

This morning, while setting up the kids' morning Disney shows, the receiver wouldn't start. The lights on the front panel were in their normal lighted state, but the picture wasn't there. Eventually, the system rebooted. The lights flashed off, then all of them on, and then off again. A few moments later, they came on and the picture showed the receiver attempting to find the satellites.

It's disconcerting that this is happening so often. Even if it needs to happen, it should do it once in the middle of the night, not when I'm trying to use the receiver.

What's more bothersome is that the system doesn't seem to be tested at all. The only benefit I'm seeing to the entire upgrade is the addition of an "HD" graphic in the guide on channels that have HD programming. I wasn't really hurting by not having this. As a matter of fact, reading through the release notes for the new software, no single feature in the list is something I would really want. It's a pretty empty update and it's broken a lot more than it offers.

I wonder if there's any way to go back to an old version of the software and stay there until they've worked the kinks out of the new system.

The Sci-Fi channel has been re-running a bunch of shows that I used to watch before they were summarily executed by network executives who don't recognize science fiction lovers as a real demographic they can sell to.

What's interesting about these shows, and many sci-fi shows I've noticed, is that they were all cancelled without an ultimate resolution to their plotlines. I've always wondered what happened with these shows. There's a big, over-arching mystery through the entire show's run, and then... nothing?

FireFly
Ok, FireFly got a movie after it was abruptly dropped from the schedule. What irks me about the movie is that although it ties up some loose ends, it seems like it was just thrown together to cap off the series. That is, you can't see the movie if you really expect the crew of Serenity to have more adventures.

I just wanted to know what the deal is with the guys with the blue hands. Was this adequately explained? If so, the series would likely have continued with more mysteries. I want to know the additional mysteries -- all of the secret character background that they had planned to reveal in the future seasons of the show, but never got the chance.

John Doe
Ok, this is a great example. A guy wakes up in the woods. Can't remember his name or how he got there, but knows pretty much everything else. Any kind of statistic, he knows it with instant recall. And he has powerful skills to observe and draw conclusions based on that knowledge. All the while, he is haunted by a past that he doesn't remember. He sees only in black and white, except for certain things and people.

So for starters, who is he?

What does the scar on his chest mean? Who are the people that he sees in color and what significance do they have to him? The owner of the bar he worked at was revealed in the last episode as being involved with the people who made John Doe who he was. What was that all about? How did he keep it hidden for so long, and how did he manage to coincidentally own the place where John ended up?

The Pretender
A show similar in concept to John Doe, this guy travels around pretending to be a professional, wielding skills that you'd have to be trained in. He is chased by some mysterious people for mysterious reasons that are never revealed.

Why do these scientists keep on experimenting on people? Don't they know no good can come of it?

Threshold
This series was killed before it really had a chance to take off. I really liked some of the ideas they used in this show, and reviewing the episodes as they are re-run, they really did a great job with current tech culture references.

In this show, an alien "something" visits Earth and "infects" a boat full of people using strange sound and lights. It changes their DNA, and makes them somewhat contagious. The alien virus attempts to spread itself via various means, from leaving messages on cell phones, to interacting with bank cards, to planting alien DNA vegetables. The members of the show's project team attempt to implement the Threshold protocols, authored by their team leader, to contain the alien outbreak. It's interesting that all the members of the team are conscripted for the task.

There are a ton of questions in this show. How does the alien DNA work? What is its intent? Is it simply a precursor to some other invasion?

Farscape
I really expected the two-hour ending episode to be better, but I didn't really have many questions by the end of the series. On one hand, I was sad to see it go, but on the other, it didn't seem like it needed much closure by the time Aeryn and John were vaporized.

What other shows am I missing? I'm sure that there are more than these recent examples. Network TV has a habit of killing sci-fi just like this without letting it wrap up. I wouldn't be surprised if Lost, Heroes, Jericho, Daybreak, etc. were all killed off without as much of an explanation as, "It was all a dream."

My working theory with Lost these days is that the lost people are somehow creating their island reality. I keep thinking that they can't possibly have an ending for this show that will satisfy anyone. But for some reason, I keep watching it.

Heroes is one show that must end properly. I expect that by the end of the second season, we'll know whether its producers know what they're doing or not. I keep demanding a show that has a finite run, where the writers plan to be done with the show after a set amount of episodes. I hope that Heroes is it.

I'm not sure how Jericho will end. I expect that we'll have a shot of Jake staring off into the distance with whatever bimbo they decide to hook him up with by the end of the show. Or maybe two bimbos is the standard in the post-apocalypse, since they can't seem to make up their mind and just hook him up with that cute chick... hey! That's Karen from John Doe! Well, that's doom for this show.

Daybreak. Was that already cancelled? What the heck? Oh, they bothered to air the rest of the season of Daybreak online. There's a catchy idea. Maybe we should just get all of our sci-fi online?

And finally... in a new horrifying revelation... I stopped watching Battlestar Galactica a few weeks ago. In a chance visit to the Sci-Fi Channel, I saw a commercial where someone said something like, "Now that Starbuck is gone..." And so I flipped through the PVR's recordings that I still have (it still records them even though I haven't watched in a while) and actually watched a few, and holy crap! They killed Starbuck! At least the whole love quadrangle soap opera can be over. I'm way tired of Apollo pining.

Unfortunate Event indeed. Abby and I had just finished watching the end of A Series of Unfortunate Events, when I switched the TV back to satellite and saw American Idol contestents trying to sing Queen.

I sat in front of the TV dumbfounded, and I couldn't turn away from the trainwreck. I know Queen fans who are turning over in their graves who are not even dead yet.

One of the contestents actually had the gall to say that he hadn't even heard the song he was going to perform until a week prior. You're a singer vying for a place as a so-called "American Idol" and you didn't know that song? How long have you been living under a rock?

Note that I haven't been watching this poor show all season, so I have no idea of what chaff they've already thrown off. But for pity's sake, I can only imagine how bad they must have been to have only these fools remaining. The quality of the contestants is so pathetic, I wonder how anyone can stand to watch the show.

The song selection was atrocious. If there are so many songs in the Queen repertoire, why would you pick one that you know you can't perform onstage by yourself?

What on Earth would possess anyone to sing "We Will Rock You" as part of a talent competition? I mean, I guess it will rally the audience, but you really need to pull it off correctly - the song must be performed in the manner in which it evokes that enthusiasm. Singing that song like a Richard Marx rock ballad? Ugh.

Bohemian Rhapsody? I was thinking, "This could be ok, provided they skip the operatic parts." But then, not so much.

That Kellie person could be slightly more braindead. You know, flopping about on the floor like a fish. "I don't have an accent." Uh, yes, you do, dear.

The only singer worth mentioning was Paris Bennett, who could have even stepped it up a notch herself with "The Show Must Go On". She's the only one who seemed to get into the music and not concentrate so much on being on stage.

And what's with all of these singers leaving key words out of their songs? Paris Bennett left out the "The", singing only "show must go on", which seems fairly syllabically odd, if not grammatically incorrect. And that Taylor Hicks dude, who did that atrocious version of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", kept not saying "Love". Uh, hello?! It's the point of the freakin' song!

The Idol website is so full of itself, too. They have a "My Idol" area where they have "blogs" about their show. But they are self-hosted. They might as well call it a bulletin board. They show blog-like features, like tagging, but they don't actually accept tags from blogs over which they can't exercise control. So I guess bad press like this blog post isn't up for display on their site!

There is also a voting option for the Queen performances. There are four options:

• Really rocked
• Were just OK
• Were better than I imagined
• Not as greate as the originals

Where is "Stunk like day-old roadkill"?

I'm not the only one who thought that the Queen "challenge" was an atrocity. Check these sites out:

• Drunken Puppies
• blogging out loud
• Resurrection Song
• Philly Burbs

And also I found it interesting how songs are chosen for the show. Here's the essential info, distilled from MTV "news reporting".