A few random thoughts today, taking a break from the vacation log, which is already a little overdue and getting stale:
Regrouping on Work
Let's be real here for a moment. Work has been pretty challenging lately. There have been some significant internal changes at the company, and combined with some retention incentives vesting, we're having a lot of talented people - people I enjoy working with - leave for other companies.
Frankly, I'm not sure what my role might look like in six months. I've been a manager at this company for longer than I've been a developer, and I'm not particularly enthusiastic to go back. I have said many times, programming is my fun thing, and doing it on someone else's command hasn't always been precisely "fun". But I do enjoy managing engineers, so it would be nice to continue to do that. That said, there are some circumstances in this shift that I'm not pleased with, and I've now made some choices that limit my options at this company to only those things I would be really interested in continuing. Sadly, I took vacation last week (I'm not sad about vacation, just the timing) and in the time I missed, I am worried about some choices being made for me in my absence. That, combined with really no official word that any of the roles that have been teased are going to become available to me, lead me to wonder what I'm actually doing here. Alas.
A consequence of vacation is pretty interesting, though. I was in the Japanese Garden in Balboa Park. Gardens aren't really my scene, but I'll tell you... As I descended into the garden, the smell of odd plants and the running water led me to an interesting mental place. I think this is kind of the point of these gardens, really. It was an interesting experience. But I was reminded of why I left a prior job, and some unfinished work in that area. I have even more experience now to back up the work I wanted to do then. And in the style of work I did at the time, it would be a fun side project. So I think I might dig that back up and do some work on it again, to bide my time until something happens.
And also apply to work at ClickUp.
This is becoming more of a to-do list, isn't it...
I'm reading/listening about Simone Biles pulling out of the olympic competition this week due to stress. There's a bit of stress going around everywhere.
The last year and a half has been all about "self-care" and learning what that is. I don't think I've gotten it right. Actually, I'm pretty sure I haven't.
I'm reminded of the Scout Oath, which ends "To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight". Not that I'm trying to align my life to scouting principles, but there's a reasonable foundation in these words.
I guess there's not much I want to say openly here just yet, but I'm making a couple of changes in this area. It'll be slow and small to start, beginning with some appointments I should have made ages ago.
And that's about all I have time to document this morning. Hopefully I'll get more into a regular habit of this. It's been too long not writing regularly here.