Before you think I’m begging to be hanged for treason, allow me first to state that Clinton’s demise isn’t a thing that I wish to happen. I don’t want Bill Clinton to be harmed any more than I would want to be harmed myself. No, what I’m offering here is a condition.
It occurred to me today while listening to the news that Bill Clinton is an icon for Democrats everywhere. He’s a legendary figure - the guy who messed around in the highest political office in the country. He rides the persona well, socially clicking with youth groups and liberals. But that’s a bad thing, I think.
As long as Bill Clinton is around, the country has its Democratic American Idol. We don’t need another political Bart Simpson. Clinton is too much of a distraction. As such, the Democrats have no hope for installing a president into the White House next term, or in any other important political seat.
The more I think about elections and politics in this country, the more I can clearly separate everyone into three distinct groups:
Group 1: People who want higher wages, cheaper beer, more NASCAR and hemp, and less oppression by “The Man”. These people will typically elect a cowboy who identifies with their plight while smoking a blunt in the oval.
Group 2: People who want more “family values” (cough religion cough), government controls on what other people do in private, fewer rules about what businesses do in private, and a US-influenced democracy in every nation morals-be-damned. These people will typically elect a cowboy who doesn’t know what a “blunt” is, but will gladly smoke one with his special interest buddies.
Group 3: Me.
To make a long story incredibly short, and skip straight to the moral: Please feel free to join group 3.
I should also note here (even while my post title puts me on the FBI watchlist and makes it impossible for me to fly anywhere without a stripsearch) that I have absolutely no political credentials whatsoever, except maybe that I can vote and have voted in the past few presidential and congressional elections. I was simply struck today by the fact that the news media is taking Clinton’s trip to the hospital so seriously, as if he was still important in any way to the future of the nation. I guess as a figurehead ex-president he is, but come on…
Stinking Fox News. It’s programmed into my XM news button. I can change it, but I’m lazy, and it’s often fun to listen to ignorant people prattle senselessly. And after reading all this, wouldn’t you agree?
