Maybe Lincoln is known for having abolished slavery, and that’s all well and good. But I would like to abolish some more mundane things. Here is my short list.
Windshield Frost
Don’t you agree that this pesky annoyance has got to go?
Have you noticed how there are different kinds of windshield frost? The “best” kind is the kind that scrapes right off without effort, and even without the effort you’re still standing outside in the cold scraping the crap. The worst kind is the stuff that looks like the easily removed kind, but is impossible to remove. You run the scraper across it, and it just stays there or the scraper makes stripes through it which you then have to push really hard to remove, hard enough to scratch your windshield.
Popcorn Popping Time
Over the past couple of weeks, Berta has been popping corn in her new hot air popcorn maker. Once again last night I remarked about how it takes forever to pop corn.
What I want is a machine into which you put the popcorn, and you push a button, and BAM! All kernels are popped. There’s another thing to get rid of entirely – unpopped kernels.
Flight Overbooking
Maybe it’s because I don’t understand how they can both overbook flights and then cancel (and reschedule) every flight I’ve been on in the past three years, but this practice needs to end. Just make all tickets non-refundable, and then only sell what tickets you intend to fly. Isn’t that simple? I guess you won’t be making extra money from the seat you sold twice, but man, you’re going bankrupt anyway because consumers hate you.
Unenforceable Internet Laws
While I agree that making a big fuss over the law change is silly, I would like to see someone try to enforce it.
I know what an IP address is, but I wonder if you can conclusively prove that an email or web comment came from a specific person, and not someone else at their residence, or someone spoofing their identity. Crazy.
So let’s just make a law that lets the internet police itself. And when the internet drops out into the real world, then we enforce the real-world laws in whatever land it affects. This isn’t very well thought out, and is more just a reaction than an actual official position.
I’m sure there are other things that should be done away with, but right now I’m concerned about abolishing my hunger.
