Asymptomatic

There must be intelligent life down here

Dad Thoughts
August 25, 2004

Shortly after I had moved into the first apartment I could afford on my own, my parents separated. I was standing on the deck overlooking the back yard when Dad told me what was going on. He explained incomprehensibly how he still loved my mom but that they couldn’t live together any more. He knew that there had been times as I was growing up that he could have been there for me but I had to rely on my mom instead, and he promised that things would not just be different now, but better.

There were hints of problems between my parents before this announcement, and I don’t really know whether I was shocked more by the revelation or its telling. I’m not sure what I expected to happen, then living on my own, but if I had anything good to walk away with, I looked forward to having a better relationship with my dad.

Feeling Bland
August 24, 2004

Not that I usually have a lot of vibrant energy for creativity, but I’m feeling pretty generic these days. It may have something to do with this sickness I’ve accrued and the drugs I’ve been taking to keep the symptoms abated. There’s also something in the air, though. I sat in my car for a while at lunch today, just staring blankly out into space, thinking of nothing. This type of Zen is not something that normally comes so easily.

As I told Berta, my sleep on Sunday night was the best sleep I’ve had in a while. I didn’t go to bed too much earlier than usual, and I actually got up earlier on Monday morning, so it wasn’t due to a longer sleep. Maybe it was the fresh air in the house. The continual A/C at home and work might be getting to me, and the cool air outside this week is very welcome.