Back in November, I walked into School of Rock in Downingtown and asked about learning to play keyboard. The next day, I came back to watch a rehearsal for a show in production. By the end of that night, I’d agreed to play keyboard on a couple of songs I barely knew. A month later, I had my first live rock band performance under my belt.

This is how School of Rock works, and it’s one of the weirdest experiences I’ve had in a while. I take lessons just before my performance rehearsals, seeing a teacher on nights when the band meets. In the past when I’ve tried music lessons, there was always a hard sell—the teacher would push expensive recurring packages. This time, my teacher literally looked at me after the lesson like “why are you still here?” But it wasn’t because he didn’t want to teach. The whole school seems oriented around people wanting to be there because they want to make music. Get your lesson, get to rehearsal, go make music.

I wanted to make music as a kid, but I didn’t want to practice. Who wants to practice? When I was very young, I took lessons at the piano store in Exton Square Mall. I remember playing Hot Cross Buns while wearing a small suit and tie. We had an upright piano at home, and I would never practice. Eventually it wasn’t worth it, so my parents stopped paying for lessons.

As a teen, I took keyboard lessons with a private teacher, Jim Mobile. I started at a music store, and when he quit, I followed him to take lessons in his home studio. Jim was a gig musician who seemed to make a living on music, whether through teaching or performing. That’s where I started learning music theory. But I never got over the whole practicing thing and never really found passion for playing.

There are a lot of things I’ve found as an adult that I enjoy but had no passion for as a kid. Not that I like practicing now, but I want the music now in a way I didn’t as a kid. I want to be able to do it, to play music. That drive keeps me at it.

Over the last few years I’ve been accumulating probably way too much electronic music production hardware. I’ve been learning Ableton Live, learning to play pads and finger drum, following music influencers I enjoy, buying online courses on live electronic performance and sound design. There’s so much to learn, I’ll never learn it all. But somewhere in that process, I realized I was missing fundamental capabilities that would make me better—like being able to play live music and improvise. That’s what brought me to School of Rock that day.

In my first performance, I played What’s Going On by Marvin Gaye, Lady Marmalade by Patti LaBelle, and Rock Steady by Aretha Franklin. I admit, there wasn’t much to it, just some basic chords. On one hand, that’s all some songs need. On the other hand, I’m not good enough yet to play more than basic chords.

The performance went well. The people I was playing with are really talented, so when you screw up, they cover pretty well. The show was a success. Since I showed up midway through the session, I only played keys on three songs, but I played tambourines and shakers on the others, which was still cool. The night of the performance was full of energy and fun.

One of the key lessons I’m still learning has nothing to do with music. It’s the idea that this whole music thing is supposed to be fun. It’s not about making the music perfect, but having a good time while trying to make music. I’ve enjoyed myself the most—and, ironically, played my best—when I was more in the groove and less in my head. This is hard for me, but loosening up is a real benefit from all this performance and rehearsal. It actually is fun. And when I turn off my sense of failure—“I played that note wrong and ruined everything,” no, I actually didn’t—I enjoy myself even more.

I’ve started a new session with new songs. We’re playing an “80s Alternative” show. So far we’ve only been given a few songs, but I’m playing on a lot of them. Some have light keys, but at least I’m playing a good part. And still some tambourines.