Dear Neighbors,
You may have noticed that the wind was blowing very hard yesterday. Perhaps you didn’t realize that you had so much trash in your yards that could be blown away. Nonetheless, I want you to know that every scrap of paper that you leave sitting in your yard ends up in my yard after a light wind. The channeling effect of the lot next door to my house causes my house to be the target.
When the wind blows swiftly like it did yesterday, anything made of plastic that’s not nailed down - including your garbage cans and their natty contents - end up affixed to the front of my house or spread across my lawn. And while I wouldn’t normally complain about a few pieces of trash (since we live in the near suburbs and that kind of thing just happens), I really have no desire to redistribute your garbage cans and recollect your leftover trash.
So please retrieve your used tissues, moldy pizza boxes filled with chicken wing bones, cans of diet beverages covered in a strange tarry substance, refilled but previously empty personal hygene containers, and other toxic spew from my lawn, because if I do pick it up, I know right where I’m going to put it next time.
Thank you.
