Sorry in advance for when this doesn’t make any sense.
I drove Abby to school this morning we were listening to this music on the ride. So we weren’t talking. I can try to think of it as a moment of quiet together, but really it’s just needless quiet. I wonder what she’s thinking. Every moment. Every second. Don’t waste it. Be together.
Big hug in the Discovery Room, where Abby has a new cubby. How big she is getting didn’t catch on until just then. Gotta get out of there. Here’s where I’m putting your spoon.
Did you ever use a video camera to film out the window of a car? Notice how it doesn’t track the same way that your eyes do?
There are segments of my ride to work in the morning that are so pretty when the sun is out. Driving through the woods, the way that the light falls through the leaves and leaves and makes jaguar spots of gold on the leafy carpet. It’s one of those moments, looking through as the leaves twist in perspective and reveal sky, where you laugh at how high there is nothing like this and it’s everywhere. Unrecorded because it’s unable to be recorded.
New rule #2: People are people. Don’t be scared of people - they are the same as you. There is no better or worse when it comes right down to it, just people. Just as alone. Just as impermanent.
I had a dream last night that Mahesh and I drove around the lot of a movie theater looking for something. Berta ran off behind a group of thugs and got shot dead. “Why doesn’t Mommy wake up?” Why do I feel guilty about leaving dream-Abby by waking myself up?
