You guys should come play Legend of the Green Dragon with me. My character’s name is Reorx. We can slay things in the forest and make big names for ourselves by leaving corpses of things in our wake. It’s an all-click all-web game that requires no reflexes whatsoever, so you’re sure to do just fine no matter your skill level at this sort of thing.

If you’re lucky, I won’t stab you to death while you’re character is asleep. At the rate I’m progressing, though, you’re likely to wake up in the middle and spit on me, to my death.