I was walking around the mall and thought of some neat ways that ambitious kids could get their message out, whatever it might be.
I may have read something about these things in a book somewhere, but I don't recall where, so I'll rewrite the ideas as I have envisioned them. Keep in mind that none of these items are meant to physical cause harm to anyone. Apart from these ideas being completely imaginary and radical, anyone foolish enough to try to subvert them after they've been employed without a bit of research deserves what they get.
Chemical Welding Compound
To deploy this method of communication, you must first build a transmission device. This could consist of some kind of projector - perhaps a simple slideshow of images and text. All of this would be housed in a container built of thickish sheetmetal, welded together at the seams. The platform on which the projector sits would be angled so as to give the best presentation on a blank section of mall wall when situated in a particular spot.
The idea here is to find an in-mall girder with an exposed power strip (the kind of which I noticed at Exton Square Mall just recently) so that you can mount the projector to the girder, then plug it into the available socket.
Of course, you'll want to build in some method by which the power cable would be protected. Interlace it with some thick chain or a kevlar sheath. Kevlar is the denim of the future, anyway.
The compound itself is actually a two-part mixture, like epoxy. Your conspirator would keep the projector in an opaque shopping bag, while you painted part A of the compound onto the girder in the pre-measured location. Part B of the compound will already have been applied to the mounting surface of the projector.
Remove the projector from the bag, quickly but carefully apply match the parts of the compound and hold it in place for a couple seconds. The chemicals create an instant but temporary bond that is strong enough to hold the weight of the projector for the length of time that is required for the real action to begin.
When mixed, the compound heats with great intensity. Enough to weld the mounting point of the projector to the girder.
Plug in, display message, profit.
Mall Plant Bonsai
This one's pretty easy and very subtle. All you need is a die cutter with your intended message. The overall width should be about 3-4 inches. This is a subliminal message.
Find large-leafed mall plants. Get some friends to loiter around and cover you while you punch your message into a few of the leaves. Repeat at each pot.
Mall Flowerbed Jarts
While we're on the topic of planters, here's another good one. Make up a few signs with your message on some of that nice plastic poster board. Use stencils and spraypaint! (Marker-written signs just won't be taken seriously.)
Get some 3/8 inch diameter depleted uranium rods. They should be longer than the height of your poster by about a foot. Sharpen one end of all of your rods to a sharp point. Fasten each of your posters to one end of a rod.
Take your posters to the mall. Using the breadth of the poster for loft, chuck the signs lawn-dart-style into the high-hanging planters above the first-floor stores. Be sure your poster faces out. Don't miss.
Glass Etching Spray
This is similar to the acid used in some recent bus shelter attacks in Vancouver, but not so toxic as to cause any skin irritation.
This spray comes in a Binaca-sized can with a fine but directed stream. Approach the glass exterior of the mall shop with caution and spray on with a practiced motion. The chemicals, though invisible, will eat away an irregular depth of glass, causing a translucent but not transparent pattern to emerge on the glass after over an hour's time.
Quick-apply silicone stencils make intricate designs more possible.
Suction Cup Projectors
I seem to be keen on the idea of projecting a message. It certainly makes it more difficult to remove the message when it's made of light. Anyhow, here's another similar idea.
Those high-powered batteries of the future are required for this one. Put a couple small ones into a canister that can be thrown pretty easily. In the same canister, install a high-powered lamp of the future complete with a stage-style lamp lens containing the message you wish to project.
Add a high-powered suction cup of the future.
You'll need to tie a string on to the projector end of the canister. Just be sure it's tied pretty loosely. You only want to influence which end of the canister is down, not enable janitors to remove your installation.
Take your canister to the mall. Locate a glass roof tile. Lick the suction cup. (Suction cups of the future are lick-activated.) Turn on the projector. Fling the canister at the glass hard enough to get it to stick. Pull string loose. Run, or pose in pride, your choice.
Fix-A-Flat Super Sign
Buy a raft. It's your message, get one as big as you think you'll need. Getting one bigger than the doors at the mall is probably a good idea.
Inflate your raft with air at home, and then paint the whole thing white with latex paint. Let it dry, then paint on your message in whatever color latex paint your message requires. Usually red.
Deflate your raft and pack it as small as you can into an opaque shopping bag. Get a can of Fix-A-Flat of the future and superglue it to the raft's intake nozzle.
Find a nicely travelled area in the mall. Wedge the trigger on the Fix-A-Flat can fully open. As you walk away, note that the people stabbing your raft are unsuccessful in deflating it or your message, and only draw more attention to your issue.
Muzak with a Message
Get a cheap MP4 player of the future and record your message onto it. Grab some tools, a DIY phono jack, and some wire.
Stop by the elevator, and after disabling the camera, pull the stop button. Climb out the elevator hatch and search the roof for the muzak speaker wiring. Rip those wires out. Rewire your cheap MP4 player into the elevator speaker. Set the player for continuous repeat, and push play. Duct tape it to the roof. Restart elevator.
Plexglass Trash Can Covers
Get some sheets of plexiglass and form them into cylinders slightly smaller than the size of the standard mall trash can. Paint your message in reverse (so you can read it from the outside) on the inside of the plexiglass cylinders. Visit the uniform catalog place and get a janitor outfit.
Wearing your janitor's outfit, affix the plexiglass ring to the inside of the lid of each of the mall's trash cans so that it covers the openings. Use molecular bonding epoxy of the future to be sure it can't be removed. Also be sure that your message can be seen through the opening.
