I can fathom crazy people in the actual subway, but these weirdos in line in front of me at Subway are too much.

Apparently, they’re travelling with their parents or something, and they must order food for these senile codgers. But it doesn’t end there, oh no. It seems that some of the "old folk" has rubbed off on them.

The guy asked for mayo on his two subs, but "not like that". He made the girl zigzag the mayo across the widt of the bun, rather than the length. "Be sure not to get any on the meat," he says. The woman with him was worse.

She must never have seen the inside of a Subway before. "Can you take my order, or are you not working here?" she asks the girl. Hey, this is an assembly line, not a custom-building personal chef scenario.

Other interesting sandwich criteria: Oil on top of the lettuce. Light lettuce equals the volume of the roll. Heavy oregano?

The cincher is when she asks to have half of a foot-long bagged to go when she’s only being charged for the foot-long, not the two 6-inchers,which are practically different sandwiches on either side of the roll. "Oil just on that side, please."

She just asked (after she has paid and started eating) if she can upgrade her sandwiches and sodas into combos to get chips, and only pay the difference! Just give me my Subway Club and let me be.

On top of all of that, they’re sitting in my normal seat. Grr.