This weekend marks another trip to Johnstown to visit Berta’s family. Without intentionally disconnecting myself from the outside world, this is one of the few times I can’t connect to the internet. And boy oh boy, it’s like quitting crack cold-turkey.
Johnstown isn’t a very high-tech area. Most of its residents are elderly, so I wouldn’t expect much of an uptake in internet connectivity. They do have DSL and cable connections there, and there is a business-grade fiber installation company out there, but Berta’s family are not as computer-dependent as we are to have contracted any of these services.
So if I’m to connect my notebook to the net at all, it’s going to happen via dialup over a very old POTS line. Ugh. I have been trying to find some alternative solutions to my connectivity problem, and I’m coming up short.
My initial thought was to use my cell phone. I get broadband access through Verizon Wireless’ network on my Treo 650. I recently installed the bluetooth hack that allows dial-up networking access via the Treo’s bluetooth. So what I should be able to do is search for my Treo using my PC, install it as a modem, and use it to “dial-out” over Verizon’s wireless network. That sounds fine, but there are a couple of problems.
First, my plan only includes 5MB per month of transfer. With a PC hooked to that connection, I could eat all 5MB just checking my email once, and then I would start paying by the byte. When my mom accidentally left her phone’s connection running, it kept connecting for a whole month to check email, and her bill for that month was over $2000. I’m not looking forward to that.
Even setting aside problems with my service plan, the broadband access coverage area doesn’t extend to Johnstown. I would still be cruising at no better than dialup speeds, and possibly even (though I doubt it) paying roaming charges for it. So that’s not even a practical solution even if I wanted to pay for it.
I did a search for some wifi hotspots in Johnstown, thinking maybe Berta could just drop me off at a cafe or something and pick me up later. There doesn’t seem to be any place in Johnstown that offers free wifi - “free” meaning “not having to be a hotel guest”. There also doesn’t seem to be anyplace you can pay for access that’s not a hotel. People in Johnstown must not have notebook computers.
I mean, come on - No Starbucks? The nearest one seems to be in Pittsburgh, easily more than an hour’s drive. The nearest Barnes and Noble is in Greensburg, about 30 miles away. There is a McDonalds that has wireless in Windber, which we pass on the way into Johnstown, about 9 miles from Berta’s parent’s house and somewhat out of the way.
Linking through from McDonalds to Nintendo’s Gameboy DS wireless site (the Gameboy DS has wifi built in, so Nintendo lists wireless hotspots) it seems there used to be an internet cafe in Moxham, which is very near Berta’s parent’s place. Unfortunately, their domain isn’t even registered any more.
Alternatively, the Cambria County Library seems to offer internet access, though I didn’t see any information about it on their web site.
Whatever happened to those PC Card devices that could connect to the internet wirelessly through some special over-the-air service? Like Ricochet? Where is my satellite internet?
I have been so desparate for internet while in Johnstown I’m embarassed to tell you this story. The kids were napping in the back of the van when Berta and her sister decided to take a look around a craft store. While they were inside, I popped out my Treo and started up palmIRC to catch up with the folks on #wordpress who were running a bug-hunting weekend while I was in Johnstown. I was poking IRC messages into my phone, people!
I need broadband everywhere. Please help me!
(Yes, yes, “You need to get out more.” and “Maybe turning the computer off for a couple days would be good for you.” Yes, I need to get out more, and turning the computer off isn’t going to help free me to do so, I guarantee it. It’s just going to increase the backlog. So please come up with a better solution than, “It’ll be ok, Owen - there is life beyond the net.”)
