Asymptomatic

There must be intelligent life down here

Idiot Millionaire Screenings
May 24, 2004

I like to eat lunch on weekdays so that I can be in the car between 12:30 and 1:30 when Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is on. Today, a contestant was so stupid, it left me wondering whether they screen these people at all.

It was only the first question. Everyone knows that the fourth answer (d) to the first question is incorrect. So why did this girl spend so much time deliberating about whether the correct answer to the question “What do people commonly say when there is a morsel of food left that they wish to claim?” was “Hey, gimme that!”?

Where is everything?
May 24, 2004

With the new site design, you might be wondering where everything got to. Some things were removed and some things were modified, so it’s probably a good idea for me to point out some things.

First Act
May 21, 2004

6:08.  Wake up.  Blue striped satin pajamas pants swish across the bedroom carpet.  Sip water.  Pop pills.  Drink water.  Five minutes to go.

6:12.  Pull shades in kitchen.  Pointlessly lower toast.  Scratch at morning scruff.  Observe orange cat across neighboring roof through window, preening loose fur on aerial.  Answer phone.