That was a terrible title, I admit, but this is crucially important entertainment news. Tom Cruise is dating Katie Holmes. Forget the fact that he is old enough to be her father. Forget the fact that she is an avowed virgin. This is crazy because I really thought that he and Penelope Cruz were going to make it. I mean, c’mon, THEY HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME (practically). I guess I’m going to have to watch Vanilla Sky tonight and mourn the end of their relationship.

Sniff.

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