I ought to have titled this blog “I’ve Been Thinking” since it seems each post involves me thinking about some thing and never actually doing more than that. Lately, my thoughts have been on my mother-in-law, who is currently facing medical challenges. Her children are preparing an obituary for when her time comes. Naturally, this has led me to reflect on how I’d like to be remembered and the legacy I’d leave behind.
Legacy is a weighty word, but it captures that essence – what I hope to achieve in life. As cliche as it sounds, considering what my obituary would say while I’m still alive is an intriguing exercise. It prompts thoughts about whether I’ve accomplished everything I’d hoped to and what more I have to achieve.
Well, I haven’t left our house in 16 days, and the last time I did, it was to drive to CarSense so that I could give Berta a ride home from dropping off Abby’s car for inspection. Before that, who knows how long it’s been. It’s both disconcerting and comforting that this has been going on too long to count the days.
It turns out that there is a back side to the bell curve of new “be at home all the time”-ness. At the beginning, you think things will be ok, since you won’t be doing some of the things you usually do, there will be more time for those things you’ve always wanted to get done. But on the back side of the curve, it turns out that “free time” was never the reason you didn’t do those things. With all of that “free time” available, you’re doing different things with that time, and just don’t prioritize that other stuff. Or maybe you plain don’t want to do it.
A month or so ago, I took a walk around the neighborhood with Berta, as we often do after dinner when there's still light out and the heat isn't overbearing. These walks often contain what feels like awkward silence, or rather, they would if I would ever shut up. For whatever reason, regardless of the breathlessness the pace and incline induces on my completely out-of-shape and asthmatic self, I can't help but take the opportunity to fill the silence with some chatter. At some point, I'll have to ask Berta if she feels this is my habit and whether she'd rather walk silently, since although she does contribute, I feel like she'd rather just walk with her thoughts unpolluted.
Anyway, it was on this one walk when I found myself resisting the urge to offer the usual rhetorical diarrhea, and instead focused on some of my own internal contemplation. It was actually a really nice day, I remember. The temperature was just what you'd want in an early summer evening. The sky was not cloudless, but full of colorful pink and purple twilight-lit clouds. No cars on the road and a gentle, comfortable breeze.
I've been thinking lately about what my ideal, realistic job might be, and what concessions I might make to get close to that job. I'm going to just spew those ideas here, in no particular order.
My ideal job would have a corporate office close to home, and have the ability to work from home on days when it would be preferable to have focused solitude away from the office or necessary to participate in home activities, like A/C installation or other home maintenance. "The office" would be in a building that is not a soulless corporate center building filled with sterile cubicles and Ikea-Lego desks, but would have some character all its own -- something you would enjoy showing off to family and other people in the industry, who would envy your daily environs. It would be a place you would look forward to going. And yet, the company would be flexible enough to let you work completely remotely for months at a time, for whatever reason. As opposed to the sentiment I hear a lot where people who work remotely come into the office and learn to like coming into the office, I'd like the sentiment to be more one where the office is just one of many potential tools that builds team cohesion.
